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Top releases of 2011:

2011-11-18T10:44:00.020-05:00

The following can be attributed to DAMIANMASTER:

Two-Thousand and Eleven was a great year for music. Coming off a strong holiday quarter in twenty-ten, hopes were high that some that momentum would ram its head into the clinching, puckering, young pink year that would lead us softly into the coming Mayan apocalypse. After all, it couldn't be worse than two-thousand and nine, right?

(The above section of alleged "writing" itself is a parody of the complete and utter hyperbolic nonsense bullshit that has sadly taken over music journalism. Metalsucks, Decibel, Invisible Oranges, I'm looking at you. How about less being funny and cute and use more you know... adjectives? Descriptors? Less inside jokes and ribs at the past? Please? Because I'm going crazy here. I'm no music journalist myself, and this is no attempt to become one, just sharing some thoughts on some great music released in 2011. Hire real writers or GTFO.)

As a rabid music consumer - I'm always digging into the past. Much of what I've listened to this year are records that came out long ago. A lot of it is longtime stuff I've been into, some of it is new-ish to me, or stuff I've given time to - but the list includes: Voivod, Kraftwerk (digging into their first two albums) Aura Noir, The Sisters of Mercy, Christian Death, Brian Eno, Ministry, Coil, etc. Lots of post-punk, goth, and early industrial. That kind of stuff. Also - telling people what you listen to is like is a pissing contest.

Now onto the best of 2011. I've divided my list into two sections in NO PARTICULAR ORDER. No ranking system. Just ten records you should check out and a short precis accompanying each one. One list is metal/punk/hardcore and non-Metal/punk/hardcore. Anyone worth anything is pretty diverse in their musical tastes, so I'm just conforming this list to metal/punk/hardcore since that's what everyone thinks I only listen to anyway.

METAL LIST -

Midnight - Satanic Royalty

Finally, a full-length from maybe the best thing to come from Ohio since Trent Reznor and Greg Dulli: Midnight. If you like blackened speed metal and you're not hipped to Midnight, you're missing out. We're talking Venom meets Motorhead. Hooks included. Catchy as hell! It's just mean. Multiple songs were stuck in my head after one listen. It's a total party record. If your party is full of drunk, stoned hesher losers doing shitty coke off the coffee table. AKA, my kind of party. (not really) It's also fine to listen to by yourself. We've waited years for a Midnight full length and Athenar has made our wait more than worth it. LUST, FILTH AND SLEEZE!!

Victims - A Dissident

Sweden is weird. They've got Bathory and Refused. But they also have Opeth and Meshuggah, yuck. Playing more from the Refused side of the ball is Victims. A Dissident is their fifth full length and they're still pissed as ever! Sweden also has an amazing history of good crusty, d-beat hardcore. Victims is part Crude SS, Avskum, and Skitsystem but coiled up with this Motorhead-type energy that really didn't exist for Motorhead post-Philthy Animal. Victims is sort of the European version of Tragedy, but a bit more straightforward. I guess this is the most simple release on this list, so I'm struggling to come up with words (I'm no journalist or critic), it's just awesome crusty, d-beat hardcore. Either it's your bag or it's not. When I first heard this record I punched the shit out of my steering wheel.

The Gates of Slumber - The Wretch

I would hate to label this "true doom" record. What does that mean? I get that it's a pretty good descriptor in breaking apart the Sabbath-y/St. Vitus-y doom metal versus the downtuned, low, gutteral vocal doom (which sucks, very few exceptions: Asunder). Gates has ditched the "epic" themes of albums past and have gone a bit more humanist lyrically speaking. It brings a gravitas to the record that most doom bands lack. Songs about Conan and Elric only go so far, and honestly - are really dorky. The sonics on this record alone could earn it a top spot. This is REAL engineering, people. Real guitar tones, real drum tones, great vocal production. We have to go back to the word "true." It's real. Many records are fake sound-replaced these days. The Gates of Slumber are so real that you can't help but feel you're in the same room as the band when you listen to it. Karl's voice and fragile guitar work carry the album. The guitar work is fragile in that it seems as if he is playing on his last breath. And that's totally a good thing! I also give this record 100% credit for proving that music can be heavy and in standard tuning. A pet peeve of mine for sure. I don't dig the downtuning thing generally. Also - when the guitar solo comes in, it's just bass and drums for the rhythm track. No extra guitars. That's so bad ass. Again, it brings a gravitas to this record. This is a serious, serious record. I can feel it. There was no need to present this record or this band as anything other than what it is. Gates seem to be at peace with themselves. On a small note, when I saw Gates live they literally played every song off the new record except for my favorite song, "Castle of the Devil." Understandable, so rectify this by going out and listening to that song over and over again on a rainy day. I know I've done that, multiple times. (This was also snubbed by Decibel mag for their top 40. For shame db! For shame!!!)

Peste Noire - L’Ordure à l’état Pur

La Sale Famine de Valfunde (henceforth referred to as "Famine") is a total asshole. He's a righteous dick in interviews and seems legitimately nuts. Very cool! I actually think Famine is a much smarter guy than he leads on. I've gathered that through the years he's been fucking with his audience just to fuck with them. In fact, I know that that's what he's doing. Want proof? Anyway. This album is a cluster of crazy ideas and some legit, good songwriting intermixed. The weird thing is that it works. It's sort of this twisted walk though Famine's mind. Everything is a joke, but it's all serious. In fact, I think if Famine were a villain, he'd be the Joker. Easily. If you're looking for a proper review of this album good luck. The album makes zero sense. It just resonates with me. Between the French instrumentation, "uum-pah" circus parts, Eurotrash drum machine parts, and Famine's well kvlted out Tom Waits impression, I should be screaming DELETE! But it works. Audrey Sylvain's voice doesn't hurt either. It seems like the first couple of tracks are laced with the weirdness to scare off posers, but as the album progresses it reveals itself in totally unique ways. Famine's command of "black metal" vocabulary and the sonic tools he uses to craft his version of black metal are unique only to him. Disregard his latest skinhead shtick, although I'm sure for him, it's very real. Not that I care either way. Famine is way smarter than he wants you to believe he is. He's giving you hints and having fun with you along the way. It's almost like he wants to be caught, but he's still two steps ahead of you and relishing it. If that doesn't sound like the Joker, I don't know what does.

Arckanum – Helvítismyrkr

I am torn by this record's inclusion on my list. Ultimately, it's more than worthy and needs a spot here. So, here it is. I'll tell you the main reason why it's here. It's good. Really good. Shamaatae (all instruments/vocals) should get a heap of credit here. This is his seventh full-length since 1995 (with a handful of other releases peppered in between then and now) and he's only getting better. He started off pretty well and is constantly improving. This isn't some spot on the list reserved for "consistently good musician" or a pity spot for guy who's a bit under-celebrated. It's a great record! The stupid record label put "For fans of Dissection and Watain" prominently on the cover. Whatever. I have nothing against those two bands, and I know that Arckanum's anti-cosmic Satanism links up with those two bands' set of beliefs (and they're all from Sweden), but Arckanum stands alone. This year was a big change in direction for my musical tastes. Atmosphere has always been the most important thing in music for me. Not "atmosphere" aka, shitty synths in the background of a song, but the true vibe, mood or emotion that was being portrayed. Think about Neurosis for a second. Yeah. That kind of stuff. Amazing. But atmosphere often comes at the expense of songwriting. See: the funeral doom genre. All atmosphere. No songs. Same could be said of grind. (but grind rules though!) Depressive/Suicidal BM? Give. Me. A. Break. It's corny and fake. If these guys were real, they'd be dead. LOL @ Lifelover. They were all depressive and suicidal and then their mainman dies of natural causes in his sleep! HAHAHAAHAHAH!!! Way to commit buddy. That genre is very insincere. How does this relate to Arckanum? Arckanum is the opposite. It's totally sincere. It's real songwriting. Not BS black metal cliche after cliche. It sounds awesome too! I realize that I'm trending pretty well "produced" on this list. And if you know me, a lot of what I've listened to this year is fucked up weird sounding raw demos from odd bands. But there is something to be said about something crafted extremely well. Arckanum is just that. Well-crafted. No musical missteps or faux-pas. And this guy has been making kick-ass album after kick ass album for years now. Give the kid a bone!

Sinister Realm - The Crystal Eye

Here we go... fresh off my diatribe on songwriting, we have another entrant who was awarded entrance based on the strength of songwriting. After all, what else is there? If you're all image and no songs... you're GWAR. I saw GWAR one time, and I don't remember if I said it or my friend Tim said it, but he/me said "Is there band playing right now?" Sinister Realm exudes 100% heavy metal power. Again, I hate to throw around words like "true" or "trad" but Sinister Realm falls under those descriptors. It's a very Iron Maiden record, and no one (other than maybe Nifelheim) loves Iron Maiden more than me. I don't know if Maiden is capable of doing a record like this. It's meat and potatoes metal played in the old way. Even the drum fills sound super '80s! I guess it's an album about astral travel... whatever. That's cool I guess? I guess Iron Maiden already wrote songs about every armed conflict in recorded history (I think that was a Henry Rollins joke!). All I know is that the songs and vocals are top notch. At least the lyrics never broach into overt cheese. Then again, metal is pretty dorky anyway. The point is, Sinister Realm are the real deal. If you think these guys are a bunch of skinny, fashionable kids from Sweden playing "occult metal" just ripping off Mercyful Fate and the first Maiden album, you're wrong. One look at these guys and you'll figure out pretty quick that the blue collar burg of Allenstown, PA doesn't allow for posers in their true metal bands. The attention paid to craft and melody is amazing. From what I understand bassist John Gaffney is responsible for all songs and lyrics... how very Steve Harris of him! Sure, the vocals could be a bit more expressive, but I'm not picky. At least the vocalist Alex Kristof has picked a good thing to do and does it. We can't all be papa Bruce D. Kristof is a bit more Di'Anno now that I think about it. Not a bad thing in my book. Think Di'Anno fronting an updated Powerslave-era Maiden. Doesn't sound too bad does it? This record will grab you by the balls, and if it doesn't, it'll grab you by your ladyparts, and if you've got a Barbie doll crotch, you're Hedwig from Hedwig & the Angry Inch, and that is awesome.

Dolorvotre - Dolorvotre

Dolorvotre is perhaps the best offering from the famed (???) Black Twilight Circle out of California. Ashdautas was probably the most well known band of the BTC before this year, but Volahn (half of Dolorvotre) and his buddies started cranking out a bunch of kick ass music getting them a lot of attention. Arizmenda (of the band Arizmenda, other half of Dolorvotre) is no slouch either, releasing a couple of complex, twisting, weird, anxious records in the past couple of years as well. After a nasty split with Naeth in Ashdautas, Volahn and Arizmenda regrouped as Dolorvotre. Of course there was all that indigenous resistance shtick they picked up along the way. They've embraced their Mayan/Mexica heritage like the Scandinavians embraced their Nordic/Viking heritage and gained a shit-ton of internet fans along the way. Crepusculo Negro (Black Twilight, en espanol) also became demonized because of their somewhat questionable business practices. Orders take (and this is an official term) for-fucking-ever, and communication is also notoriously bad. I've been ordering from them for a while, so I never get the run around too bad. So, good on them. I'm fine. But I know people who are still waiting for shit they've ordered over half a year ago. Maybe longer. Then there was the split between CN and the Rhinocervs crew (Tukaaria/Odz Manouk, etc). Some real baby mama drama type stuff which is big on with the internet kids. Dolorvotre is literally Arizmenda and Volahn. So, musically, it sounds like a mix of Volahn and Arizmenda. It's a dark, twisting, warbling, 8-track-hiss affair. It's actually beautiful in a way. Not like Alcest beautiful, it's too ugly and distant sounding, but there is a sort of winding quality present in all BTC bands that allow the mind to meander along with the guitar. For that matter- a lot of the BTC bands sound the same. I mean, can you tell apart Kallathon and Kuxan Suum? Nevermind, it's good stuff. Let us leave it at that. Dolovortre seems to be the crown jewel of the Crepusculo Negro crown. I saw these guys live and it was amazing. I don't say that a lot, but I was blown away. CN/BTC get away with murder because their music is amazing, but honestly, a lot of it is the same. Granted, that one thing is pretty cool - but if I had to recommend one band for someone, it would be Dolorvotre. It's nice to hear a band embrace a different sonic aesthetic in the black metal palate. Enough Darkthrone clones! There are parts of Dolorvotre that sound like a drugged out Master's Hammer meets Vlad Tepes. Dig it!

High Spirits - Another Night

This is not a cheesy record. This is not corny. Disregard the period-correct, Don Johnson typeface on the layout. This is probably one of the more serious records on the list. In fact, when Chris Black sings about loves lost and the memory of wild nights spent in the city it brings a real, compelling voice to heavy metal that is all but lost. It is so catchy, and so major key that it might turn people off. We shall refer to these people from now on as "posers." This is metal in the old way! It's not all darkness and death, it's true tales of heartache and yearning. This record is a lot more human than it leads on. Of course, it's so infectious and catchy that it bears multiple repeated listens. I think I once listened to it six times in a row. It's only a half-hour long. Each song has a hook that is undeniable. I also think at one point in time, each of the songs on the record was my favorite song on the record. That is to say, we're not sitting on any weak tunes here. Chris Black has brought metal back to it's glory days of good songwriting. Here we go again... yes. I'm harping on songwriting again. Listen, if it was easy, everyone would do it. Certain bands like the Ramones can adhere to a formula and make it work, some bands try to experiment with varying results. I think the true test of a song is that it works across multiple formats. This isn't a perfect analogy and only applies to pop songs, but we live in a pop culture. Any of the songs on the new High Spirits album could be made into hip-hop party jams, slow indie ballads, or dark bluesy acoustic numbers, etc. They're true songs. Lucky for us, Chris Black is a heavy metal warrior, and decided to bring them to us via REAL METAL, not one of the aforementioned genres. This record really represents a jump from the first couple of High Spirits releases. Give it a chance. Thank you Chris. Thank you for High Spirits. We needed that.

Departure Chandelier - The Black Crest of Death, the Gold Wreath of War

New band supposedly featuring members of Ash Pool and Akitsa (ok, it definitely does). This record has a pretty heavy late-period Kristallnacht vibe. The lyrics focus on the "French history of cruelty." Obviously. I love the use of keyboards. Speaking of obviously, it's obviously Dominick Fernow on the keys, fresh off of his bender with Wes in Cold Cave, focusing his synth energies on black metal. It's totally rad. I can hear OT's guitar work from Akitsa. It's a beautiful thing. That distortion is so great. It was a real toss-up between this record or the new Akitsa 7" for this spot, but ultimately, the moving basslines and freaky keys of this release won out. It's fairly short, an intro, two songs, and an outro, but it's cool. I don't actually know if it's year-end list good, but I listened to it so many times I feel like it should be here. It's perfect. Just how a good cassette-length black metal demo should be.

v/a Odour of Dust & Rot (Rhinocervs)

It's a comp. The packaging alone is totally awesome! It came with a pro-pressed zine and a metallic button! I don't even think the zine had any words in in it. Hahaha! It's got a bit of everything form the Crepusculo Negro/Rhinocervs camp. My favorite stuff is the Rhinocervs untitled projects. It's obviously the dudes responsible for Absum and Tukaaria, but that's fine. I like that it's all untitled. This comp is a mixed bag, sonically but everything is pretty solid and certainly in the vein of the Crepusculo Negro / Rhinocervs sound. The Absum and Odz Manouk material is also stark and amazing. The Tukaaria track is also awesome... actually the whole thing is awesome. That's why it's here. I'm not going to waste time describing it. It's typical BTC/Rhinocervs stuff, which is to say it's all just a twisted version of LLN styled black metal. Are you tired of my rambling? I am.

Here's my non-metal list:

Kayo Dot - Stained Glass
Toby Driver never fails to disappoint.

Vatican Shadow / Contrepoison - The Serpent Carries Him Into Paradise
Infectious tunes from unlikely places.

Oxbow - Stone & Towering Edifice
Eugene Robinson shines in the live setting, and an acoustic Oxbox is still more dangerous than most electric rock bands. Also - Fuck Hydra Head for being a bullshit label and ripping people off with this release and the ongoing stream of shit they've been putting out for the past four years.

The Twilight Singers - Dynamite Steps
Greg Dulli. Making it happen. His best since Blackberry Belle.

Bohren & Der Club of Gore - Beilied
Ok, before you cry sellout because one of the songs has vocals, consider that at least it's Mike Patton and at least it's not in English.

Field of Spears - Pale Eulogies
Simply one of the best neo-folk records in recent memory.

Cold Cave - Cherish The Light Years
Man, I really wanted to hate this record as much as their last full length. It's really good though.

Chris Connelly - Artificial Madness
The voice of RevCo, Pigface, Ministry, etc. backed by some of Chicago's finest metalheads. Sounds weird right? It's not. And that's a good thing!

Circle of Ouroborus - Eleven Fingers
Is it metal? Is it post rock? Is it good? Extremely. Lo-fi beauty incarnate.

v/a Around The Dragon's Broken Neck Hangs the Medal of Saint Lazarus (Hospital Productions)
My boss at the record store, who after twenty-five years of doing that is pretty burned out on music. He mostly just listens to old jazz. He tells me he can't wait to get out of the business so he can fall in love with music again. He asked me to make him a copy of this comp after playing it in the store. This is music to move people who have seen it all, heard it all, and are apathetic. It's beyond amazing. Maybe the best compilation of all time.

EDIT: 12/01/2011. The problem with these lists is that you always forget something awesome. The amazing record I forgot to include:

Alberich - Psychology of Love

If you don't know what this is, then you won't like it.

The Science of My Sound and Playing Philosophy:

2011-07-03T18:51:00.003-04:00

Ok, so this type of post is long overdue and maybe it is for my own satisfaction but I think a small handful of people (Pete DeGraw, Matt Ellis) would read it and find it interesting.

Like all guitarists, ok, well, not all guitarists, I'm obsessed with the my sound. This is commonly referred to as "tone" by those in the know. Unfortunately being in the "know" often means you find yourself surrounded by a bunch of "musicians" who invest more time into investing in true-bypass pedals and pure signal chains rather than actually playing their instrument. Tone. Tone for the guitarist is equivalent to the singer's voice. It is the sound by which we are identified. If you have good tone, and style, (Hendrix, SRV, etc.) just one note can be played and people will know it's you.

Now if you don't know, take my word for it. Millions of hours and pages on forums all around the internet have been dedicated to replicating and dissecting tones. Time probably better spent practicing. I think all guitarists have somewhat of an inferiority complex. I mean, there is always someone out there better than you. It's hard to find a unique voice. But I've found that through the years, it's actually much easier than I thought.

I've primarily been the sole electric guitarist in most of my musical endeavors. (Brothers is a bit of an anomaly for me, in many ways!) As a result, I have had to fulfill both "rhythm" and "lead" roles. But therein lies the first of many problems. Those are traditional roles, and I'm uninterested in being bound by that particular tradition. Music for be, by and large has always been dependent on one key factor: atmosphere. I have a post about my favorite guitarists a little ways back, and they all have atmosphere as their main weapon. I'm not talking about ethereal, spaced out echo flanger phaser fx, I'm talking about attitude and style. As a result, I had become obsessed with the guitar playing of Johnny Marr of the Smiths. His style of "lead rhythm" was exactly what I was looking for. Now, I could get a Rickenbacker, a Fender amp, a compressor and try and cop Johnny Marr licks until the sun goes down, but I'll never get there because I'm not Johnny Marr. I'm also not in a pop band. Nor will I ever be! It's not my style! I'm a hardcore heavy metal noise punk! It's what I do! I can't be something I'm not.

That is the first lesson of the day. Don't be something you're not. Embrace what you are good at and run with it. Now, that is not to say that my playing is all of the buzzsaw Ramones style, I have nuanced abilities, but I'm not going to create a harsh black metal track and then go sit in with a jazz trio, or blues band. Doesn't mean I don't love jazz and blues, I'm just not cut from that cloth. Too many guitarists try and master it all. They end up being "jack of all, ace of none." There are notable exceptions (Alex Skolnick) but for the most part, it's impossible.

Around the turn of the century, I had become metalpunked out! Too much! Overdose! I never stopped loving it, but I expanded my tastes. I got really into ambient electronic and noise. A lot of it started with Aphex Twin and the Warp label, and spiraled into obscurity from there. Just as I had plumbed the depths of metal and punk (or so I had thought) I plumbed the depths of the avant-garde. I found bands like Einstürzende Nubauten that used guitars in a very non-traditional sense. Sure, I had been into Sonic Youth with their altered tunings and textures but the guitar was always still kind of "guitar-y" if that makes sense.

So here I am, obsessed with the sound of noise and ambience, but I have six strings and a slab of wood in my hands. I could go one of two routes. I could invest in a hundred, wild and crazy effects boxes to make my guitar sound like anything but a guitar, or I could figure something else out. Now, I know of a few musicians who make the guitar sound not like a guitar and it is genius (Fennesz, a few others). But I don't want to cop their style. So I have to create my own thing. Or, at least attempt to find my own voice in a sea of unique voices. How? Well, I decided to take my love of heavy metal, hardcore, noise, and punk and mesh it with my favorite style of guitar playing, best exemplified by Johnny Marr. So here I am, alone. A heavy metal Johnny Marr. Bringing jangle into black metal and hardcore, genres best known for their "CHUNK" as opposed to their "sparkle," but dammit, I'm going to try and make this thing work.

And that's just it. It wasn't really a conscious effort to mesh the two, it just happened. Lesson #2: Let it happen. It's not just the name of an MxPx compilation album, its a philosophy. Don't over-think your approach. Let everything soak into you and filter it and process it through your own unique creative person.

That leaves me to the question of tools. How am I going to create these hypothetical sounds in my head. Enter my real-world experience.

I was managing a warehouse for a backline company. When you're providing gear for musicians, you become aware of issues relating to equipment failure and durability. Through years of research and hours of talking with by buddy Pete and our friend John, I realized what was obvious to many before me. The more complex the circuit, the more options, the more "things" a piece of gear offered, the more likely it was to fail. Furthermore, when a piece of equipment does fail, a simple circuit is easily diagnosed and repaired quickly. Now, I am not a wealthy man, so when I invest in a piece of gear as a working musician I have very high expectations. I expect to put it through its paces and have it perform to a high standard consistently. Now that means I'm investing in either new boutique gear, or vintage equipment. The mass production PC board crap found at Guitar Center is not going to cut it. For the beginner or still-discovering-his-path amateur (I'm still an amateur, I just know my path!) Guitar Center has plenty of great gear to guide you, but for the most part, it's crap. Nothing agains Guitar Center, they're just a company. I'm just saying this type of gear is not for cats like myself. So, gear must be simple, effective, durable and sonically pleasing. Unfortunately, affordable does not fit in with those listed requirements, though you are often able to find a diamond in rough piece of gear that meets those requirements for a nice price tag. (Guild Bluesbird,Fulltone pedals, CERTAIN Peavy tweed-style amps, etc.)

Really, you must invest in quality to get quality. I remember the dudes in If He Dies He Dies. A brilliant band. Amazing songs, great sounds! Cool tones! They played on rubbish equipment, but it worked for them. Well, sometimes. I mean, it always sounded cool, somewhat... but sometimes reliability was problematic. I don't want to be that guy who breaks a string on stage and is looking for a guitar. It's embarrassing. It's unprofessional, not that I'm a professional, but I'm not an amateur hobbyist. I take this too seriously! In the backline industry you always send spares of everything. You never know when something is going to fail and you can't NOT have a spare. It's just out of the question. Most of the time when equipment fails there isn't time to break out the toolbox and the soldering iron. It'd be nice in a perfect world, but we're not in a perfect world.

Having learned from this experience, I try and carry spares of whatever I have. Practically speaking, but I digress from the science of my sound. The true purpose of this rant, though this is sort of part of it all. It is my part of my overall encompassing attitude.

How am I to get these ambient, textural sounds that I desire, but have a guitar rig that remains simplistic, reliable and above all- sounding aces. Ok, I love the ambient sounds, but I love guitar too. I don't want to make my guitar sound like something else, I love the sound of six strings and wood. What do I do?

Lesson #3: Embrace your limitations.

I removed all pedals, overdrive, delays, noise gates, etc from my rig and made a simple signal chain. Guitar -> Cable -> Amp. Even within this dead-simple set up the amount of options are nearly endless. What kind of guitar? What kind of strings? Pickups? What kind of internal electronics? What kind of cable? What amp? What tubes? What speaker? What speaker size? configuration? GAH!!! The amount of options in a minimalist set up are dizzying! Somehow though contemplation and just gut-feeling and reaction I decided to pare down my rig to its most basic, pure elements. For me, that's a Gibson Les Paul Custom or Gibson SG, totally stock, or Fender Stratocaster or Telecaster (also stock) into a quality tube amp. Maybe a Marshall, Fender, Vox, or VHT, but something nice. And really, one of my secret amp weapons isn't even tube, it's solid state. So, really, just a good sounding, simple amp. The more simple the better. Preferably something with a single channel where I can manipulate tones based on onboard controls that the guitar provides via pickups, volume and tone controls.

I think we should all bow down before the genius of Brian Eno. Then stand up and slap in his limey face for continuing to produce U2. But his ambient music and approach is totally genius. I was watching a documentary on Brian Eno and he said something that struck me so deeply and profoundly. Eno was being interviewed in his studio and he picked up a Strat and noted that there were three pickup positions, essentially three sound options, and they were all gorgeous sounds. Then he pointed at a keyboard that had many, many options and opined it's uselessness. He said the following and it truly changed my outlook and has been my mantra ever since:

"What you need are fewer possibilities, that are more interesting. It's not more options that you want, it's more useful options." - Brian Eno

That's it. Eno has put into words what I had been struggling to verbalize for years. Granted, he's a pioneer and total genius who has been creating relevant work since before I was born, but- whatever. Eno man. Eno.

You see, he hit the nail directly on the head and hammered it flush to the wood. If you have a few interesting options, by virtue you'll never grow tired of them because they're interesting. In the same way a painting is static in that it doesn't really change - so also can a guitar sound be static but still interesting. You can change the lighting, and environment that a painting is in and that affects how you digest it. The Mona Lisa in the Louvre is one thing, but if you would have seen it in a garage sale would you have looked twice? Maybe, maybe not. Context is everything. The painting will never change. Similar to my guitar sound and structure. But if you provide an interesting sound within a good context, it will never grow old. It will never be un-compelling. Take for example three bands that are brutal. AC/DC, Shellac, and Darkthrone. AC/DC is the sound of pure, driving rock and roll. Relentless in its approach and clean in its execution. The blueprint of rock and roll expanded upon while remaining true the the sonic purity of a guitar, amp, bass, drums, and voices kicking all kinds of rock and roll ass at a loud volume. Shellac is the perhaps the best indie/art rock band ever. Minimalist yet powerful. Every ounce of playing is masterful and plotted out. 100% pure sound. No gimmickry or fakery. Three men playing in a room. Granted two of those men are quite possibly the finest recording engineers in North America so it is bound to sound pretty freaking good, but the musicianship and songwriting is there. Totally. Darkthrone's 2nd through 4th albums are a study in monochromatic metal sound. The sound are a stark and plain as the cover images for those records. Nothing is overdone, nothing is overstated, yet at the same time it is so extreme and cold sounding that it washes over you and something that should be jarring is totally atmospheric and otherworldly. It's strangely relaxing.

Those three bands don't give a damn about you or how they make their music. They just do. They use what they have and they go for it. They are not limited by their instruments, at least not directly. So I have mentioned that I have a certain set of gear that I like to play through, which is nice and helps... but not important. Not that important.

Rule #4: Make it happen.

If you can't make something happen because you don't have a certain piece of gear or set up, you suck. That's all. If you have an army of pedals and you can't make SOMETHING cool happen just plugged in straight, let's say, on an impromptu gig - you're probably a hack who can't write songs. I know that sometimes effects and things are part of what inspires a song, but you know what I mean! If you're reliant on a certain thing to the point where if you remove it from the equation it becomes unrecognizable, this is generally a bad thing. I mean, even if you take the biggest douchebag guitarist of the 90s, Tom Morello and remove his whammy pedal and his wacky effects, you can still tell it's him playing. Even when he doesn't have the context of Rage Against The Machine. Man, remember Audioslave? Ughghh. It was Tom Morello alright, but it was as awful as ever. I digress. So under all these insults, I guess I sort of respect the guy for having his own style.

And what made me type out all this madness? Well, I played a church gig today. I played it with a bunch of kids that were 17. I think one kid was 20. They were all really young and optimistic and my goodness, overplayers. All of them. Lots of drum fills, lots of guitar fills, tons of effects, etc. It was a real experience to kind of help coach them along during the last week. I was humble in my approach but after our performance this Sunday they were all convinced of my ways. Rule #5 is a cliche, but it's true.

Rule #5: Less is more.

In trying to achieve a big sound people too often add. It is counterintuitive. To sound bigger, you should use less gain, not more. Play simply. Simplicity allow the music to open up and breathe and become powerful. It takes on its own dynamics that are built into the song. Now, for this type of church music I do carry two effects. Since I don't write the songs I have to cop parts and sounds that aren't mine. Of course, I do them in MY style, The other guitarist in the band was technically a better guitarist than me. Technically. He could play circles around me, but he did not have what I had... restraint, style, atmosphere, and taste. Now, keep in mind, this kid like 18, and one day when he embraces my ways he'll be a million times the guitarist I am, but for now, he was submissive to my ways. He over played. I showed him the style of the minimalist. Letting the music breathe and speaking slowly with a nice sound. Not harsh gain on a lead sound, or a barrage of fast sweep picking notes, but a musical breath of notes that speaks to the heart of the listener, not the ear of the musician.

I showed them how to dial it back. I asked that they trust me. It was a struggle for them to throw away a majority of their effects and licks, but they did and I think they saw a new world. We really knocked it out of the park. I generally like to have an amp set to a nice dirty rhythm tone with my volume on 7. Then when I need to do a lead or a stand-out part, I'll goose the control up to 10. This works nice for me. But for praise music, I need to pull from a distinct palate - clean and dirty. So I chose to use my Fulltone Fulldrive 2 which has a nice fluid, clear sound. As an additional feature it has a boost channel with a gain control so I can give my solos that searing melodious tone. Since I'm covering a lot of ground, I like having that flexibility of just hitting a switch for a lead tone. And since it is a church, we all know how much praise musicians love U2 and that delay/echo box guitar crap. It does have a nice chimey sound that appeals to me, but I'd opt for a Peter Buck sound over The Edge any day. But, covering Hillsong's fifteen friggin guitar parts played by twenty different players on my own means I need an echo box. My echo box of choice? The Ibanez AD-9 Analog Delay. I used it for a 50s style rockabilly snapback delay. Not some digital U2 style stereo crap. Since I'm playing in a big room I get a bit of that stereo effect from the natural reverberations. This type of music is a bit out of my zone, but I welcome it and embrace it with my style. Less gain, subtle echo and play with my own voice. Although my heavy metal Johnny Marr vibe was distinctly more Johnny Marr than heavy metal today, it was still MY STYLE.

After spending years of trying to find my own voice on guitar, I feel like I'm finally there. There is no more gear-slut, ever changing set-up, pedal-swapping, amp changing for me. I don't' want more options, I want to utilize my few useful options. It has truly opened up my ears and my hands to all kinds of new levels. It was a long journey, but I am here. Speaking of long journey, if you've made it to the end of this, you deserve a beer! I'll buy one for you next time we're out and about. All this thought and pondering and tinkering just to arrive at the bare essentials. It's not for everyone, but it is my way. It's my style.

I think one of the top compliments I have ever been paid was via my buddy Tim Lenger. I was showing him a song I was composing. I think I didn't tell him I was writing it, I just sort of played it while he was near. He laughed and said "Oh man, that's so Damian." He knew just through my style that what I was playing was an original composition. The real kicker is that I was trying to compose an original praise song, but it still came out all punk rock Johnny Marr. The fact that he recognized my style, for better or for worse, lets me know I'm right where I need to be. I will continue to grow on the instrument and expand my playing vocabulary, but it will still be "so Damian." Maybe my style will limit my future successes, but I won't compromise. It is my style, developed on my own. Maybe my style will be the reason behind my future successes. Either way, anytime I pick up a guitar and strum a chord it doesn't feel foreign. It feels like everything is where it should be.

(not proof-read or edited)

DAMIANMASTER

Testing

2011-06-15T14:40:00.001-04:00

1.2.3.

Here's my signature.

Colloquial Sound Recordings

2011-04-13T08:29:00.002-04:00

My latest venture is a record label called Colloquial Sound Recordings. We will be releasing extreme underground music.

Our first release is by a band called Aksumite and will be available the first week of May.

Please check out the upcoming releases and sound samples at www.colloquialsoundrecordings.com.

I'm ashamed of you.

2011-02-28T08:49:00.001-05:00

Why would you watch the Oscars? Why would you root for that crap? Who cares? Why do you sit around wishing for some old rich guys to vote for a movie someone worked tirelessly on? Does that validate it? Same goes for the Grammys. Iron Maiden won a Grammy this year. They were like "Whatever. We're on tour. No time for BS ceremonies or worthless awards."

The Academy is supposed to recognize achievement within a given field. Why can't they just publish a list, or a yearly book selecting and explaining the winners and why they were selected? Do we really need a ceremony? Do we need to hand out gold statues? Do hundreds upon thousands of dollars (if not millions, considering the enormity of the event production) so Tom Hanks can get on stage and be so charmingly dumbstruck?

Who would watch even a minute of this garbage? Same for the Grammy awards! I'm not saying that quality film and music are not nominated for these awards, I'm sure some of the stuff is really good. I guess I'm more bummed out that people in 2011 are still so blind to self discovery and evaluation in the Internet age. It's true, now with the internet, everyone is a critic. (present company included) I'm sure this bums out people who were trained and have refined taste. I can only imagine how many writers have been canned in the last few years in favor of internet amateur reviews. I can only imagine how many honest people who worked hard at developing a craft were slighted by spouting off some opinion.

I suppose this too is an opinion. Maybe I'm out of line. Maybe I should be celebrating the pageantry and procession alongside you. Maybe I should just say "I watched like, two seconds of it just to laugh. Haha." But I won't.

"We are not your leaders...
We don't want your loyalty
We reject your trust
We ignore your sympathy
We do what we must"

"Cause I am not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, your Academy..."

As always, John Serba is exempt on my railing against Hollywood. ;-)

A Vegan Story (a blog rant)

2011-01-22T23:50:00.002-05:00

I should reference that the person with whom this story took place may well read this - but it is BY NO MEANS a dig towards them. Not at all. Just a story.

So - my wife and I had an appointment with a friend to get her nose pierced at a well-loved, respected tattoo shop. Now, the fellow doing the piercing is a friend of mine. My wife had made some no-bake cookies to bring to my folk's house for dinner- which we were going to directly following the piercing. Thinking we didn't need all the extra cookies around the house because we'd just eat them and the feel guilty for indulging in the sinfully delicious treat, I bagged up a few to give to my buddy. As an additional thank you gesture.

Everything went well and I gave him the cookies. Some comment was made about the girl at the front (who was totally professional and nothing but nice) enjoying one of the cookies as well.

Her first reaction was "Ugh. I'm vegan." She didn't say it in a snotty way either - she was very nice about it, but it got me thinking.

Many times I've been out with vegan friends and when it comes time to eat something, or something is offered to them the first words out of their mouth are "I'm vegan." Ok. Well, I understand what you're getting at, but why do you feel the need to tell me, like I care? Does the generous person offering you food care? Why are you vegan? Is it because of some deep conviction? Are you vegan because it's a talking point and ultimately it's just something you use to feel like you're a part of something special?

This is no hate speech toward vegans- just those who operate under this attitude. I'd be a vegan myself but dammit, over easy eggs are my favorite food! I support a cruelty free vegetarian lifestyle.

But it just kept bothering me. I've heard other people say it before. "I'm vegan." First words out of their mouth. How about "no thank you" or, "I'm fine, thanks anyway." I've been at parties where people have been offered a beer and they respond "I'm a Christian." Oh boy. Same problem here. People are so tied into their labels that they feel that is an adequate answer or a talking point for daily life. Whatever man. Believe what you believe, I'm all for that. But if you're truly passionate about being a Christian and feel the need to bring it up- be a missionary. I'm aware that every opportunity to share your beliefs is good, but you need to be careful how you express them. You run the risk of sounding like a nut. Take that zeal and apply it somewhere where speaking out boldly reaps followers, I support that. If you're passionately vegan - know your place. You're the odd one out. Doesn't make it right or wrong, and don't act so smug about it, like you're above someone else who has a differing opinion. That's waking real close to fascism.

I should also mention I've been out with my buddy who I will name! (Brandon) and he is always very polite. Dude is a hardcore vegan and never spouts off his beliefs unless he is asked. If he is unsure of a food, he just abandons it. He never answers "I'm vegan" when someone offers him non-vegan food. He just always politely declines. I've seen times from there in which he was able to enter into a meaningful discourse with someone in regards to his beliefs. That's the way to do it kids. Don't say "I'm vegan" like it's some kind of badge of honor. It's a choice, like the car you drive, the god you do or don't worship, or the clothes you wear.

The world does not need people using every possible moment to express their agenda. The world needs courteous, respectful people who coexist and TRULY live in harmony. I'm no peace and love hippie dude, no way! Hippies stink! I'm just a fella who thinks the world is full of so many people of varied, deep conviction that the only chance we have at not total-war-ing ourselves back to the stone age is to adopt a policy of peaceful respect. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and beliefs. No matter how they differ from yours. Make sure your beliefs are something so intensely meaningful and personal to you that can see clearly enough to the other side of the spectrum and respect all positions.

Top 5 Guitar Influences:

2010-12-23T22:12:00.003-05:00

In no particular order...

Blixa Bargeld (Einstürzende Neubauten, Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds)

Blixa hates guitar. He's said it in many interviews. His playing shows it. He approaches his playing from a uniquely Blixa angle. His stuff with the Bad Seeds is genius because he filled this in-between role of creating the number one thing I love in music... ATMOSPHERE. That is the key to Blixa's guitar work. I don't think he's particularly technically proficient, but his playing speaks volumes more than any flurry of notes or shredding can convey

Johnny Marr (The Smiths, Johnny Marr + The Healers)

Maybe my número uno pick if I had to make one. When Marr plays it's like he's said, you hear the whole record. His style of pseudo-rhythm and simultaneous lead is so marvelous. Growing up I developed a similar style on my own, though I will never compare my playing to the brilliance of Mr. Marr. His playing comes from a desire to make the guitar a fully realized instrument, not some under-utilized one trick pony. Love it. Love it.

Russ Cogdell/Brett Detar (Zao, "Where Blood And Fire Bring Rest" and split EP with Training For Utopia)

You can't split these two, it'd be like splitting up something that shouldn't be split. Lucy and Ricky, Laurel and Hardy, milk and cookies, peanut butter and jelly... wait. Peanut butter is pretty much good on its own. Right from the jar. Well, you can't split up Russ and Brett. It just wouldn't be right. Their playing was dark, atmospheric, catchy and dirty. Their tone was raunchy and real. If you are a fan of heavy music, and don't own "Blood and Fire"... Go and get it. It's so creepy. The entire genre of third rate copycats that the record spawned is beyond awful. Remember, ZAO perfected the dark art in 1997-8. All others have fallen so short. No one gives the Ramones flack for spawning crap pop punk bands of the 90s, so don't hate Zao for the chugga chugga bands of the 2000s.

Matt Fox (Shai Hulud)

Here is a man who makes his own code. Metal + Hardcore = Metalcore. Real metalcore. Not the terrible garbage they sell in malls and all-ages venues around the world, Matt Fox created a real form of fusion music. His style, background and attitude totally hardcore, but his chops- straight from metal. His tastes are diverse, and he champions those in the underground who never got a fair shake. He is a true innovator and a defender of the faith. Oh yeah, he's an amazing guitarist and songwriter as well!!

Steve Albini (Big Black, Rapeman, Shellac)

There are instantly recognizable guitar tones, and then there is Steve Albini. He's not on this list solely because of his killer tone (it's a big part) but also because he's another guitarist who deals in atmosphere and song rather than flash and flair. His playing is always unique yet still lands firmly in the punk rock ways though I've never heard another punk play like him. His playing is like Ron Asheton gone werewolf and possessed with the spirit of PiL and Gang of Four.

Honorable mentions:
Davide Tiso (Ephel Duath)
Jason Martin (Starflyer 59)
Steve Von Till/Scott Kelly (Neurosis)
Niko Wenner (Oxbow)
Tom Wisniewski (MxPx)

Possessed!!

2010-11-04T00:52:00.001-04:00

The author of this blog, possessed by a riff at 12:41am. Many hours past his bedtime.

After writing a précis on a Li-Young Lee poem for a class tonight I was hit by the spirit of inspiration. In my bathrobe I stammered down to my basement to plug in and find the riff that was playing in my head.

I got it!! This is the struggle of many artists. Capturing the moment. Finding the muse. Understanding the method.

I find it interesting that of all possible nights for me to be up late, tonight is that night. I have to be awake in 2 hours. I have to drive my father to the airport. My grandmother, his mother died on Sunday. My father is flying to Texas to attend the funeral. Maybe this punk rock riff will be dedicated to my grandmother. I still can't believe she's dead. No matter what Tom G. Warrior has told me. (ONLY DEATH IS REAL.)
I guess so. For now, thankfully - I am amongst the living.

What is Punk Rock?

2010-11-03T02:04:00.001-04:00

What is punk rock? What is underground music about to you?

Does it mean everything or nothing?

There are those who fervently defend the underground, and those who claim to be indifferent. Would you care to explain your position?

*Warning* this may require actual thought and insight, and a desire to engage in meaningful discourse. So if you're looking for a box to tick, I've already got my answer.

The comment box lurks below. Feed it. If you dare/care.

Higher! Higher! Come on you sons of fire!

2010-10-31T23:34:00.001-04:00

Happy Samhain. No drunkenness or costumes this night. Just friends and fire. We also had some great discussions and a killer soundtrack. Nothing better than listening to Agalloch around a fire on a crisp fall night. It was REAL.

(self-portrait)

The night was very clear and I decided to take the black, winding highways home. Few lights and distractions on the road. It makes going home feel like a journey. It is much better than the endless stoplights and fast food restaurants along the "short" way home. It's mentally draining to take all that plastic humanity in. Bohren & Der Club of Gore's "Midnight Black Earth" was a great soundtrack for the ride home. The sound of the Fender Rhodes is one of my favorite sounds ever. Especially when used in the context of Bohren & Der Club of Gore. I would highly recommend Bohren to those of you looking for true music that drips with a slow pensiveness and dark vibes.

For the few that read this blog...

2010-09-03T23:53:00.004-04:00

I have started an additional blog! The content of this new blog will be very singular. It's all about HOT SAUCE. That's right. Hot Sauce. The new blog will be appropriately titled, Begging For Burn.

It's just going to be a fun blog all about the different kinds of hot sauces I eat. I hope this will be as fun for you as it is hot for me! This blog will remain and continue to be updated with all non-hot sauce related things going on in my life.

Please read!!

WWW.BEGGINGFORBURN.BLOGSPOT.COM

Shaved and Styled:

2010-08-15T00:30:00.001-04:00

Everyday after I do my morning workout I shower, shave, and style my hair. I do this even on days I'm not planning on leaving the house. I do this because "plans" never really seem to pan out and things are always liquid, moving freely in my life. I like to be prepared. I suppose I get myself primed every morning because of three reasons:

1. Self-Preservation and Presentation.
2. Emergency.
3. Dude-ly-ness.

Ok, I'll explain - starting with the first one, " Self-Preservation and Presentation." Simply put, it is all about not letting yourself go. I'm not some fashion plate or style guru or anything but I just want to stay on top of things. For me this is a clean shave. I know some dudes rock the Viggo Mortensen 5 o'clock shadow on steroids thing, but I have a boyish face. Not for me. I've got to be clean shaven. I've got the sideburns to take away from my boyish face. Those have to be in line every day too. My sideburns are my way of detracting from my boyish face with some vaguely manlike facial hair. Plus, they're totally rock and roll and Elvis had ones just like 'em. Also it's all about presentation. I don't know about you but when I walk by a mirror and look like a wreck, I feel like a wreck. I like to be put together for me. I don't do this for anyone else. I feel that no matter what task is in front of me, be it lawn work, reading, or cleaning the stove, I'm approaching it from the sharpest angle, mentally and outwardly when I'm shaved and styled.

The second one - "Emergency" is all about the unpredictable. Suppose a madman breaks into your house, you're in sweatpants (I don't own sweatpants or "lounging" clothes) and look like a wreck. You can't reason with that guy. The guy is going to feel like he's looking into a mirror. He will project himself more easily upon you thus angering him, because he's obviously got some issues, and he'll proceed to gut you like a fish. You're dead. A little hair gel might have saved you. If you're a little more put together you might be able to convince him you're a lawyer or a therapist and talk him down from his murderous quest for self fulfillment. Or at least distract him long enough to grab a kitchen knife to defend yourself. And in the off case that you can't talk a mad man down from murdering you in your own home, with a clean face and well styled hair your mangled corpse will look somewhat presentable to your loved ones and ease the pain their loss ever so slightly.

The third reason is simple. You've got to be ready to rock and roll. If your buddy calls up and says, they're somewhere cool and something cool is happening and you've got to get over there immediately, you need to be able to get in your car and go! You can't waste valuable time trying to not nick your face during a quick shave. You don't want to be that guy that shows up looking like a schmuck. What if Scarlett Johansson is there, waiting for you? You need to get there man! You need to look like the rock and roll dude you are!

And really... you're a dude. Shaving and fixing your hair takes all of what? Five minutes?

07.12 Evansville, IN

2010-07-13T21:25:00.001-04:00

I woke up just before 10am. I really wanted to sleep in since our accommodations were beyond nice, but it wasn't meant to be. The place where we are staying only has 2hr parking, so I had to get up and move the van, so as not to get a ticket. It's worth it. This place is clean, the people are nice and I feel great, even after only a few hours of sleep. I think everyone is trying to sleep in until 3pm or something. Yikes. We'll see how long they actually can sleep for. There are some other dudes here. They must be a band. They showed up at 6:45 this morning. They must have driven all night to get hear. I understand why. Very nice place. It's this sweet loft apartment. Very chic, but very welcoming. I showered and got ready, now I'm just hanging out. I think I might go try to get a cup of coffee and explore a Evansville a bit. I need coffee. NEED.

When I asked the person who we were staying with if there was a coffee joint within walking distance she told me that she worked at Starbucks for four years and had a bunch of fresh coffee from the 'bucks and wouldn't mind brewing me up a pot. Scoreboard.

We went out to Guitar Center and Troy bought a Rasta colored guitar strap. Stephen, Zach and Wes went to Arby's. Joel, Troy and myself went to Pantera Bread. Garden vegetable pesto bread bowl. It was great. My apple was a bit mealy, I was bummed on that.

Now we are back at the loft, Venia is here now hanging out. Hurry up and wait. I'm stoked for this gig. Advent is going to make us look like like some little girls.

We loaded in our gear to the venue. It's this totally rad church. Clint and Heather really know how to take care of bands. There was spaghetti (vegetarian sauce, w/ meat option) salad, and french bread. There was also a large assortment of bundt cakes and what I heard were some of the best brownies of all time. I can't really eat refined sugar. It's not that I don't want to, trust me, it's all I would eat if I could. I just get beyond sick when I eat something that has refined white sugar in it. I guess that's a good thing. It's my body's way of telling me to take it easy on the sweets. It's funny how your body changes as you get older. I used to eat cereal and drink milk for 3 meals a day sometimes. I loved milk. I'd blow through a gallon and a half a week, easy. A few years back I started getting rashes all over my chest and problems in the bathroom that were of great concern. I went to the doctor... milk allergy. Boom. Out of nowhere. Haven't been able to drink milk since. The doc said it was totally normal, sometimes our bodies just develop allergies. I guess my body is totally rejecting sugar. That sucks bad, but ultimately It's a good thing. I should stay away from that stuff anyway.

After eating my fill of spaghetti and salad, I waited around for us to play. The first band that opened was really cool. Jawbone played a killer set and we were up. Quite honestly- I can say this, and I'm sure everyone in Bros will agree. Best show of tour. We played really tightly. We executed our set well and we had no on stage snafus. I had been talking briefly to Joe from Advent. I had not seen him since the early 2000s when he was in Beloved. What an amazingly nice guy. I chatted it up with him before we played and he expressed how exited he was to see us. I think Joel gave him a Bros. disc when he saw Advent in Grand Rapids. Joel and Johnny from Advent (ex-Beloved) were both really nice and watched our set side stage. It was kind of odd, I really love Beloved and Advent and here was Joe on my side of the stage, a foot from me, in between songs, shooting me a thumbs up, mouthing the word "awesome!!" to me in between songs. For some reason I missed Advent the two times they were in GR last. I was beyond bummed both times. Sometimes life just gets in the way. It was nice to play and chat with them. Our set was so fun. Great room, and I think we got a great response.

Continuance was up next. Talk about amazing!! They hands down played the best set any of us had ever seen them play. The crowd reaction was insane, lots of pile ons, lots of moshing. Some kids were being a bit rough. I grabbed one kid and told him to calm down. I even got my mosh on a little. I know, I know. It wasn't much. Just a bit. My first appearance in the pit in a very long time. I was going off. I love Continuance so much. I got a bit teary eyed during one of their songs. I knew it was the last time I would see them with that line up. What a great band, what good friends! I'm past the point of liking withing their band would stay together for selfish reasons. Ultimately - they are my good friends and I want what is best for all of them. If it's Continuance or not. I can honestly say there isn't another band playing hardcore I care for as much as Continuance. It's only been one day and I miss them all.

After Continuance's brilliant set I hung out with them by their van. I missed Venia's set. Kind of a bummer. Really cool dudes, but I was bro-ing down with Continuance, I knew my time with them was limited. I guess some dude was acting like a sub-human primate and pushed Troy during some crowd kill moshing and the back of Troy's broke some girl's nose. There were some words exchanged. I'm not privy to all the details, I missed the incident, but I did catch the exchange. This dude who was moshing like a moron was a total douche. Total lack of respect for any human beings around him. Props to Joel and Troy for standing up against this prick motherfucker. He was a total dick, and acted like he wasn't the problem. I hope he remains this ignorant for the rest of his pathetic life. If he ever wakes up one day and realizes what a dick he has been his whole life he'll probably be so consumed with embarrassment and depression he'll jump off the tallest building he can find. On second thought, maybe this guy should realize what a dick he is. One less human, one more stain on the sidewalk. I'd be willing to make that trade.

Advent's set was beyond amazing. It seemed short. Short but packed with solid songs from front to back. That band is relentless live. They are non-stop and they sound like a big, pissed off freight train plowing through the room. I can't say enough good things about their set. Really awesome. After their set I went and bought a shirt. Johnny from Advent approached me and asked me if I bought a shirt. I said yeah and he asked me which one. I pointed at the one I bought. He asked me if I liked any of the other shirts. I told him I thought the one with the lion was cool at which point he demanded my shirt size, gave me a lion shirt and refunded me for the shirt I bought! Wow! What a cool dude! I didn't ask for anything. Sometimes dudes in bands are snakey, like, "hey bro, can you hook me up with some merch?" This was not the case. I really wanted to support Advent. Johnny was just that cool of a dude. Two free Advent shirts. Rock and Roll!!

After the Advent we loaded out and kind of putted around. We knew we had to leave that night, but we also knew it was the last time we'd probably see that line up of Continuance. We were hanging with the Advent and Venia dudes as well. Eventually after an hour or so, we resigned ourselves to the fact that we had an 8hr drive through the night and said our goodbyes. It was really hard, but I know I'll see all those dudes again. We'll stay in contact. I'm not too worried about it. It was an amazing night of amazing memories. It was the best show I've been to in a very long time. It was only a side benefit that I actually played the show. I had a blast.

Joel and I split up the drive. He drove the first four hours, I drove the last four. I tried to sleep in the loft to get some rest, but my sleep was sporadic and bad. It was my first time in the loft. I wasn't really into it. I think of the four hours I was back there I got about an hour of quality sleep. I took over 5:30am and took us all the way home at 9:30. It was a heck of a drive. Lots of backwoods roads in the beginning. I'm a morning person so I didn't mind it at all. I really love early morning driving. It feels nice. A couple of the guys were getting a bit cranky. It It is totally understandable. All night drives suck and the any van no matter how nice gets uncomfortable after 8 hours.

Tour has been fun, frustrating, exhilarating, exhausting, draining but refreshing, long, but still so short. I can't believe it's been 13 days. It feels like a long weekend. I really miss Lisa. I really want to see her. Part of me wants to never go home, to just keep this thing going, Lisa would be along for the ride of course. This tour has been a growing experience. I've learned now why dudes quit bands on the road. It's not easy. I'm sure I've been grating peoples nerves. People have been grating my nerves. This was our first experience. I feel very differently than I did when I got in the van nearly two weeks ago. I have many mixed emotions. I wished I would have conducted myself differently at points. This was just a learning experience. It's a very fun yet very difficult thing we are doing. At this point there is no monetary reward. I learned a lot about myself and the people around me. I'm looking at it like this - This was our worst tour. This was as hard as it's going to get. We are putting in the legwork. From here, it certainly won't be smooth, easy sailing, but it will certainly be uphill from here on out. I had a great time. It's there were good times, and bad times. That's how life works. The good outweighed the bad and at the end of the day, we came home with our shirts on. We had a blast and I'm sure that the next time we go out it will be even better. I'm really exited to see where this thing of ours will take us. I'm blessed and lucky to be a part of a group with such dedicated guys. Our music speaks for itself, but let these words be an addendum to help me remember the things I want to remember, and to help me to remember the things I want to forget. These two weeks were an amazing life changing experience. I hope you've enjoyed these words as much as I've enjoyed writing them. Thank you for your time.

DAMIAN

Location:Main St,Evansville,United States

07.11 Indianapolis, IN

2010-07-12T11:51:00.000-04:00

I slept decently. I slept on a couch. A punk rock garbage dump couch. I think I caught a something. My legs are really itchy. I really want to shower, but no luck. I don't understand the bands who don't shower on tour. That sucks you dirty, smelly kids. Rinse off!! I've showered every night we could, even if the showers were less than stellar. I had to shave and do my hair without the aid of a mirror. That is un-rock and roll.

Some dude knocked on the door of the venue at 9:00 and Joel let him in. He just kind of walked around for an hour. He moved some stuff behind the counters around. He was just being weird. He turned off the fan we were using. He was just standing in one place staring at the wall for a hour while I tried to fall back asleep. I didn't know what the dude was up to, other than creeping me out big time.

We got up around 10:00. We originally wanted to be on the road but we were all slow to get up and ready. We got some gas and Troy realized one of the plugs from his ears had fallen out, luckily we were only a minute from the venue - so no biggie. We stopped at some bakery/cafe for coffee after discovering that BOTH Starbucks locations in Somerset had been closed. The donuts looked amazing, but I wanted something a little more healthful. I ordered a cup of strong, black coffee. I got some hot brown water. Tasted like instant coffee. I felt like Henry Hill from Goodfellas after he went into the program and he ordered spaghetti with marinate sauce and got egg noodles and ketchup. I don't want much out of these towns we're in. Just a clean bathroom and a nice cup of brew. This morning I got neither.

Interestingly enough I'm not bummed because we are going to Indianapolis today!! The home of my favorite AFC South team, THE COLTS!! Also the home of my favorite dooooooom band as of late, THE GATES OF SLUMBER. I'll be on the look out for some big dudes with skullets. If being in the same city as some of my favorite people/sports team isn't enough we are playing with my favorite hardcore band, CONTINUANCE. In addition to Continuance being my favorite active hardcore band, they are my friends!! I'm really lucky to know those dudes. They are beyond cool and they are the best band playing hardcore right now. It's a shame that more people aren't into them. They're a bit of a "band's band" and their stuff goes right over the heads of 90% of hardcore kids. It's too bad. They're new record "Carry Ourselves" is a strong contender for best album in 2010 in my polls.

We are playing a matinee hardcore show before the Terror show. It would be awesome to play with Terror but the promoter was saying that he wanted us on the show but the venue wanted $60 for every band added to the package. That sucks. Oh well, the matinee will be awesome. At least the promoter is getting us into the Terror show for free.

We pulled up to the Dojo (the venue) at the same time as Continuance. A bunch of them went over to macdonalds. That didn't really sound to appealing so Dylan from Continuance and I split for Qdoba. I got a naked burrito. It ruled.

So when we got back to the venue there was some murmur of the Terror show being moved to the Dojo from the Emerson Theatre. The Emerson is a giant venue and the Dojo is two doors down and holds about 100 people. The Emerson holds SEVERAL hundred. The plan was to entice kids into a quick $2 show right before the Terror show. It didn't really work. We went on and essentially played for Continuance. It was fun, but we had hoped for bit more. There were a bunch of kids hanging outside, if they would have bought into this $2 matinee thing it would have worked. Just as we were tearing down the promoter came in and announced that the Terror show was moving to the Dojo.

Immediately Continuance started insisting that they split their set with us. It was an unparalleled act of kindness and friendship. We split their 20 minute set. We each played four songs. As kids piled in we started our set. We were already sweaty and gross people must have been confused. We had just rocked a whole set and then proceeded to rock another half set. We ruled!!! It was nice to play in front of a bunch of our people. Hardcore kids!! There wasn't a ton of movement, but I could tell that we were engaging people. It was a blast. Continuance went on after us and really rocked hard. Their musicianship and stage presence was so incredibly powerful. Their songs translate as well live as they do on record. Best band in hardcore. Hands down.

After our show I just lounged about. I got really sick for some reason. I don't think it was the burrito, it was that it was the only thing I had eaten all day. I think it just pushed me over the edge. I was totally miserable. My stomach felt like it was going to explode. I walked to a CVS and got some Rolaids. I'm in love with Rolaids. They are amazing. Instant relief.

I was sick, wailing like a dog waiting for the Rolaids to kick in and I missed Foundation. They were on the Terror tour. I really wanted to see them. I'm totally bummed. Wes caught their set and said it was insane. I just hung with the Continuance dudes for most of the night when I wasn't doubled over in pain. I really, sincerely love those dudes. I had quality time with each of them tonight. I hope that our friendships last beyond our bands and our touring. That's another reason I'm in a band. It's always great to meet like minded (and different minded) people. Though belief structures differ from band to band we are all in this underground resistance movement.

After the show we did our nightly Taco Bell ritual. The crispy potato soft taco is my new fave!!

We are headed to Evansville tonight. Tomorrow is our last stop on this tour. We are going to stay with the promoter. Apparently he's got a nice loft apartment. I'm exited. He and his wife booked the show tomorrow. He also sang in that band Jawbone we played with in Nashville. Really solid dude. I have a feeling that tomorrow is going to be the best show of this tour. Continuance got added!! We are playing with Advent, an amazing band I'm a massive fan of. Advent made this my favorite show and now Continuance adding makes this the perfect send off show!! Stephen from Continuance is riding with us to Evansville. The rest of the Continuance dudes will meet up with us tomorrow. It's going to be nice to get up and be in the city your gig is in. I'm into that.

07.10 Somerset, KY

2010-07-11T01:56:00.000-04:00

We woke up this morning and Savannah made us a sweet breakfast. Eggs, toast, and pancakes. It rules hard. We got filled.

This is what tour is all about. Meeting people and hanging out. We got totally taken care of. SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY.

One strange thing about tour is how time is seemingly endless. There is of course the hurry up and wait game, but days also blur and you have no idea what day it is. We do the same thing everyday. We kind of live this third shift life. We sleep in (I'm always the first one up, but I still sleep in). We get up in the afternoon, lounge around, go to the show, lounge around and then play. Go out. Hang out. Go to sleep. Get up. Drive. You have no idea what time it is ever. You lose all ability to gauge time. 3pm feels like 8am, midnight feels like noon, even though we may be up all day. You have even less concept of what day it is. At home you have a routine and you can feel it's a Weekend, it's just in the air. Not on tour. I have no idea what day it is.

Got to the gig. There is some kind of problem in Somerset. I don't know if there is the beginning of a plague or the city was built on top of a burial ground or we are close to some swamplands or what, but there are nothing but insects in the air. It's some real wrath of G_d type stuff. Swarms. Everyone seems to go about their normal life like its no biggie so it must be common. I found it to be annoying in the extreme. Constant swatting at my face, arms, head and neck. Really crappy.

The Venue is called Wise Guys. It's a really cool open room with big black and white paintings on the walls of Jules and Vince from Pulp Fiction, the brothers from Boondock Saints, the Godfather, and Pacino from Scarface. There might have been a couple of more, I don't remember. We made quick friends with the promoter who was an old school punker. This show we hopped onto last minute was a CD release show for some local heroes. Christian rock band I believe. Zach caught their set and said while the music itself was really awful they presented themselves very well and had a great stage show. They were the consummate professional band apparently. I missed their set, I was Skyping with Lisa. The kids were out in full force. We played to a half full room, which to be honest, was better than I expected. We got a great reaction, lots of kids seemed like they were into it. We showed a lot of kids what Hardcore is tonight. I like that. We played really tight as well. I had a blast. It was really cool to play another legit venue with a good sound system. I could really hear the separation and definition of our band in the room tonight. I'm pretty sure it sounded great. After the show we loaded out and as I mentioned previously - I got some good 'ol face time with Lisa. If we had iPhone 4, we'd be in business!!

The show was one of those shows with a really young crowd. Lots of young, young girls and guys just getting into music for the first time, lots of parents dropping off kids. This usually does not bode well with us trying to find a place to stay, but the promoter said one of the dudes in his band might be able to help us out. The venue owner, Mark was really cool. An old school punker. Even at this pop-rock show with lots of trendy clothes and haircuts he was blasting Against Me! in between sets. He complimented us highly and essentially threw us on the bill because he liked us. I'm not to sure that the pop band was stoked on us being there, but hey - fuck em. We rule. Mark really took care of us and paid us double what he said he would! It was a really cool move from a dude who is interested in helping bands out. A lot of promoters would have just stuck to the agreement and not given an extra penny. Mark strikes me as the kind of dude who does this for love of music, not money. Kind of a low key John McKaig type guy. In another "McKaigian" move there was a large assortment of free food at the show as well. It's a damn shame really, Wise Guys is closing at the end of the month. It's hard to run an all ages venue. He seemed kind of bummed, but happy that he was going to be able to focus more on his screenprinting company. Punk rock or Hardcore, or underground Metal or whatever you want to label what we do - thrives on the goodness and kindness of people like Mark, Mirf from Skelletones back in the day, John McKaig and Jeff VandenBurg back when he ran the DAAC. There are countless other promoters who have sacrificed their time, effort and finances, often paying out of pocket, not budget to help keep bands on the road. Tonight we will be getting throwing a little more gas in the tank tonight because of the kindness of a stranger. We show up, we're humble, sober and professional. We play to teh best of our ability and we're taken care of. This is what touring is all about. (Touring is all about a lot of things really.) Some worthless scum defaced a Smiths poster in the bathroom. They carved a big swastika out of it. What a bunch of animals. On this tour I've been tearing through "Morrissey" by Johnny Rogan. It's a blow by blow (no pun intended! sorry Moz) of the recording sessions Morrissey has taken part of from the beginning of the Smiths all the way through his solo career up to Ringleader of the Tormentors.

One of the cool things about playing for such a young audience is that we always end up signing our merch. It's really weird to sign our merch, but I think it's pretty cute. I'm really into it. This has happened to us several times before. It was pretty wild the first time it happened. I mean, an underground hardcore band signing autographs? But it works. It really means a lot to those kids. Sure, we feel a little silly, but you know what? These are the kids that spent their money on our merch. These are the kids that help make this band possible, I'm glad to sign the CD for them. I'm glad to sign a shirt. It makes the kids feel great and it's such a small thing. One day they'll figure out that getting stuff signed by a bunch of nobodies is silly, but who cares? It makes them happy and they'll probably show all their friends at school.

Mark, the venue owner in addition to owning a sweet venue, he operates a punk/thrash/black metal distro. He produced these fucking bad ass patches! He gave me a WATAIN, WEAKLING, SLEEP, DEATHSPELL OMEGA, and BATHORY patches. FOR FREE!!!! I'll be rolling back into Grand Rapids a little more GRIM and TRVE than when I left. What a sweet, awesome score. His band is setting up now after the venue has cleared out. They're practicing a Misfits cover set. Oh hell yes. I hope they don't bring the suck. It's kind of hard to play Misfits worse than the original band, I'm sure its happened before. Probably pretty frequently.

After the gig we went to Taco Bell for our nightly Bean Burrito ritual. We also went to Wal Mart to grab some miscellaneous goods. For me - It was some Bolthouse Farms Vannilla Chai Tea and some in shell peanuts. Some kid at Wal Mart told us he caught our set tonight and they I f'ing love how cheap Wal Mart is. UP THE PUNX!!

We got back to the venue and found the band still practicing. In between songs I asked them if they were doing Hybrid Moments or Skulls. They were indeed were doing both, and invited me to sing on those two songs!!! It was wicked sick using their meth-toothed lead singer's mic, but the wicked fun-ness of singing the songs made it worth it. I think Zach filmed it.

So as we were sitting at the venue hanging out some people came and knocked on the door. Turns out they missed our set but heard we were hanging here and wanted to buy some merch. The guitar player from the band doing Misfits covers missed us as well, but still bought merch. That was pretty cool. Sold a bunch of merch to people who have never seen us. Friendly people.

There was a bunch of gear on stage at the venue that the dudes told us to feel free to jam on so we had a jam session. Each member of the band swapped instruments. Troy played bass, Joel played guitar, Zach sang and I played guitar. Then I sang a couple of songs and Zach played guitar. then I played drums and Wes sang. I have never heard these Brothers songs played so horribly. It's so amazing. We were straight awful. It was beyond horrendous. It was also really fun. I was giving JO a run for his money!! (Eh, not really. But close!!) Zach really sucked. All stage moves. No vox.

It's going to be weird to sleep in this venue. In the words of Professor Hinkle: "Messy, messy, messy."

07.09 Nashville, TN

2010-07-09T17:34:00.000-04:00

I woke up at 8:00, showered and we left at 9:00. I drove the whole time. I don't mind driving. I thought it might be nice for me to share the burden, but I guess it doesn't really matter. Since we were on the road from 9:00 to 4:00ish I didn't really have the chance to update my Twitter or work on this blog. To be honest, the drive was rather boring and there wasn't much to update really. I like driving, but so does Joel, so whatever. I really don't care. The drive was pretty wild. Most of the dudes slept the whole time. Zach rode up front with me. It was a lot of fun. The ride was kind of crazy. I learned why the smokey mountains are called the smokey mountains. It was super black metal. The roads in Tennessee and North Carolina were really, really, really, crazy twisty. Lots of wild two lane roads, twisting and turning. I felt like I was in a racing game. Except for driving a cool sports car I was driving a 15 passenger van full of a couple of thousand pounds of gear. It would be really hard to stop quickly if I needed to with all that weight. It was kind of scary. Not like too scared to drive scary, but enough to make sure that I was paying attention.

Only a few days left in this tour. Tour. Tour. I got called out yesterday!! The drummer from Make Do and Mend told me I say "tour" funny. They had toured with La Dispute and claimed La Dispute similarly mispronounced "tour." I quickly corrected them that I do NOT have a Michigan accent. I do not pronounce my vowels with a nasally inflection. Michigan people say "phaaap" (Pop, by the way - ITS SODA!!!) and "chaaarr" (Car) and "melk" (milk), and "Wesconsin" (Wisconsin). I pronounce "tour" like TOO-ERR. MDAM pronounces it "TOR." I'm not really sure. It's obviously the vowels that are screwing things up. I pronounce the word "pour" like "POR", and I also pronounce the word "poor" the same way. I've heard people pronounce "poor" like "POO-ERR." I don't know. They were all laughing at us in their van and our pronunciation of "tour" So if it is "TOR" or "TOO-ERR" I'm not really sure.

OK - I looked this up on dictionary.com (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/tour) and it is pronounced the way I've been doing it!!1 TOOR. Not "tor" silly east coasters. Go paak the caar in the yaad.

We are truly in the south. Being a vegetarian this "TOR" is really treating me well. I feel great and am not really missing meat. I only really miss eating meat when we drive past a BBQ joint. It would be cool to partake in some great southern BBQ while I'm down here. Maybe next time. Hopefully this won't be my last TOOR. I like eating vegetarian. I think I may have to reconsider. I was previously a vegetarian for two years. I don't know. I just don't feel like making any decisions in my life right now.

We pulled up to Rocketown, the venue in Nashville is really great. Best of all, it's AIR CONDITIONED!!! Actually, the venue is really cool. The best venue yet. Man, I feel like I'm always saying that! But it is true! The shows seem to be getting in cooler and cooler spaces. This is a really legit venue. They had us load in and backline right off the bat. That's pretty cool. I just really hope some kids show up. I don't know what's going on, if the bands we are playing with are hardcore bands or if there are any locals, but I really hope so. I think this place was founded or is owned my Micheal W. Smith, the CCM duder. I remember reading the press release years ago about opening a place called Rocketown in Nashville. I don't know if he's still a part of it, but if he isn't that sucks. It's a really cool place. There was a framed cool flyer for our show right when we walked in. I have really high hopes. I hope some kids show. It's a Friday night, it's Nashville, I've got to think there are at least 40 or 50 kids who don't have anything else going on. I hope they come out.

Thank goodness this venue has wifi. I would hate to be typing this out on my iPhone like all my previous blogs. I'm really aware that a lot of my past blogs (though I haven't read them) are probably riddled with double-information, grammatical, and spelling errors. I tend to write as I go throughout the day. Today, as previously stated, I was behind the wheel all day, until now that is. Quick question - would the two (maybe three, or one) people (person) that reads this blog be interested in seeing it in a magazine form? I think it might be fun to produce a zine that has all this stuff. Sell it for a buck, or just give it out for free at shows. Maybe someone would like to publish this? That would be the real dream. Of course, when I go home I will begin the arduous task of re-reading and editing all the errors out of these posts.

One of the opening band's guitarist approached me and I started getting shivers. I just knew he was going to ask me to borrow gear. I knew it. He did. To my relief he only asked to borrow an IEC cable. It's the cable that goes from the back of your amp to the wall. They're standard on most every amp. I let him borrow it. If it was anything bigger than that I would have straight up said no. Even if it was a speaker cable. IEC cables are damn near indestructible. I did give him the Bros "no lending" policy speech but told him since the IEC is so small and tough I'd be willing to let him borrow it. I did tell him that if anything happened to it I could not guarantee the safety of himself or any of those around him. Knowing my luck he'll step on the plug and break off the ground tip. I would politely ask the bassist of the his band to borrow his IEC and then proceed to choke the guitarist with it.

I wish I had more for you today, but up until this point today has been a total snoozer. Off I'm off to call my wife. Hopefully something blog-worthy will take place in the next few hours.

Ok - the gig was fun. Not a great turn-out. But It was fun. It seems that promoters these days are unaware of how to promote and book a show. For some reason, people are still thinking that touring bands of our level will bring the kids in. This is not the case!! We need local support!! That's how it works! Even bands like Hostage Calm and Make Do And Mend who have a lot of buzz going for them, certainly more than us need the help of local support, otherwise their shows are bad as well. One band dropped last night, I don't know where they were from, but the other bands were all from out of town. One band was from 2hrs away. One band was from Evansville, IN, and then there was us... not a recipe for a solid draw.

Jawbone from Evansville played. They were really great. Kind of an Advent style band, both musically and lyrically. Very strong and open about their beliefs. The subject of "Christian" bands always brings up a lot of differing views. Some people feel it exploitation of God for profit, some feel it exists only to offer a watered down Christian counterpart to a secular band, and a lot of bands walk that very fine line... they use that phrase that was oh so popular in the nineties. "Well, I wouldn't say we're a Christian band, I'd say we're Christians in a band." Ah yes. That old chestnut. My personal beliefs are that if you are a Satanic band, a Christian band, a Straight Edge band or a Political band or whatever - believe that with all of your being. Don't let 'em grind you down. Believe in whatever you want to believe and and make no compromises. Compromise = Death. No good art comes from dishonesty. No matter what your beliefs, no matter how trivial they may seem, I respect band and people that would go down swinging for their convictions I was talking to the guys in the van about this. I just really like band that stand for something. I like fervently Christian bands for that reason. I like crazy awesome Straight Edge bands for that reason. If you have a passion for something and you are genuine in your love of the cause it shines through. I can't help put respect that. I don't care if your beliefs don't line up with mine, that's fine. I just want to see people take a stand and quit being a bunch of flagpole sittas. (Motorhead reference and Harvey Danger reference in one paragraph! DON'T MAKE REFERENCES!!!)

We destroyed the stage tonight. We are getting really tight. It was great, and the stage was nice and big, but not too big. I just wish more people would have been there. On stage we asked if someone would put us up for the night and this lovely couple volunteered right away, before we even got of stage. That lovely couple turned out to be Elliot and Savannah. Two people who were super awesome and Brothers will never forget. After the show we went to Taco Bell for some post show eats. We then went back to their house to unload all of our sleep gear. Originally I just wanted to sleep but Elliot and Savannah told us they were going out to meet some friends who were celebrating their friends who just got married. We felt kind of awkward being the fifth wheel so to speak. And to add double fun to that pun there were five of us. No biggie though. We followed Elliot and Savannah to some joint called the Whiskey Kitchen. Kind of a swanky place. Really swanky. In fact. Too swanky. I guess a lot of the Titans party there. That's pretty cool actually. I thought I saw Justin Gage for a second, but really it was just some black dude that I really wanted to be Justin Gage after I heard some of the Titans hang there. I didn't see any players though. We walked in and were getting stares from all the "bros" and their blondie babe girlfriends. We found the little party in the back where Savannah's friend was and there was no seating in sight. There we stood, in this hip as fuck bar - with our dirty asses stinking like sweat, looking like a bunch of rock and roll refugees. Savannah should have just ditched us and joined up with her friends for a nice cocktail hour. She however just said her hellos and turned to us and asked us if we wanted to go to the Red Door. We asked if it was cheaper and not as fucking douche-y to which Elliot and Savannah just smiled and led the way out to the car. We followed, on the way out the door man told Wes "You guys should check out the Red Door." He knew this was not our scene. We drove past LP Field. That was pretty cool. I'm actually a Titans fan somewhat. I've always kind of liked them. In fact AFC South is my favorite division. I could deal without Houston, but it's my favorite division. AFC West will always be the division of my youth and contain my favorite team (GO CHIEFS!!!) but now days - I just really want to see a good game. How long until football season? Fuck baseball - it's some weakassgarbage. That was a long rabbit trail.

ANYWAY: We pulled up to the Red Door. BEST. MOVE. EVER. Sort of like a redneck version of La Cantina (the Can) in Grand Rapids. It was wicked sweet. It was a cool ass local hang. Best part - 2 for 1 beer specials!!! It was full on RAGE mode. PARTY TIME!!!! It was an awesome bar. The soundtrack was straight '90s alt rock. SOUNDGARDEN!!!! ALIVE IN THE SUPERUNKNOWN!!!! It was just an overall awesome time! Some of Elliot and Savannah's friends from the Whiskey Kitchen showed up. We just partied down. Lots of dicking off. Lots of screwing around. Zach and I met this one married broad. He geeked with her over Lost. I geeked out with her over not actually hating being married. This earned us a round of COORS LIGHT!!! YEP!!!!! Great times. Michelob Light. 2 for 1. DEAL!!! Love it love it.

After a good rage sesh we piled in the car and drove to Kroger. Savannah and Elliot offered to make us breakfast. So they picked up supplies while Troy picked up a 12pk of PBR. YEP!!!! Upon closer reflection - the PBR was a mistake. It was unneeded. BUT TOTALLY FUN!!!! Wait. I'm remembering now. When we dropped off our bags Troy, Joel and I slammed some tall cans of Coors Light. It is all making sense now. Oh yes.

At 4:00am I found an acoustic guitar. I capo'ed it on the 2nd fret. I started playing "Wonderwall" ONLY OASIS IS REAL. All of us started singing as I played. I was hitting some sick harmonies. I was really doing it. After a chorus of a bunch of drunk SCUMBAGS singing Oasis I launched into "My Name Is Jonas." Again - a rising chorus of semi-out-of-tune very, very drunk voices singing out as if today, this very moment was 1994. It was loud. Proud. All of the sudden a roommate appears. BUZZKILL!!!! She walks out and asks us if this sing-a-long is really necessary. Kind of a bummer. What was super funny was that instead of apologizing we asked her "What?? You don't like Weezer? That sucks." What a bunch of dicks we are!! Instead of apologizing we just called her out for not liking our drunken impromptu cover at 4am.

It was big time fun. Probably the best, yes, definitely the best stop of tour. All tour I've always slept on the hard surfaces. No big deal. I always let others take couches, air mattresses and beds. I took the bed tonight!! I slept like a bastard!!

07.08 High Point, NC

2010-07-09T11:53:00.000-04:00

I suppose I slept well we arrived at the house of the fellow who was putting us up only to find that he'd left us the wrong key in the mailbox. We waited a brief time for him to come home and let us in. His home was quite beautiful, structurally. It however was in a state of sad disrepair. This paired with my rude mood last night meant I found a room secluded from the others. The fellow putting us up had recently had his roommates move out and the room I stayed in was totally barren. Well, I'll say it was unfurnished. There was no shortage of dust bunnies, old pennies, short black hairs of unknown origin, and some yellowed toenail clippings that decorated the sticky hardwood floor. I acquired a broom and swept as best I could. I slept amongst the ants and lint that moved about freely in the room strangely as if there was a breeze blowing. (There wasn't.) I slept decently, I fell asleep to The Smiths' "Strangeways Here We Come." There apparently was some loud chatter outside my door all night. The rest of dudes heard her up all night being loud. I peripherally heard it, but I just turned up the 'ol iPod.

I woke up at 9:00am and showered. The shower was a little gross. It was fine though. Whatever. I got ready and read a book On the porch for about 2.5 hours. It was nice. Richmond is weird. The blowing breeze is hot. It's almost better for no breeze at all. The dudes have just woken up. I want food.

We tried to stop at a Waffle House but it was wicked packed. Kind of a bummer. I really wanted to try Waffle House. We pulled off at the next exit to a Denny's. To our pleasant surprise there was also a Waffle House!! We are truly in the south!! Now here's the problem: I hadn't eaten anything since lunch yesterday so I was totally starving. It's a mistake to go into a restaurant when your starving. I ordered $10 of food. Eggs, toast, hash browns, a pecan waffle and coffee. It was worth it. It was my food budget for the day though. I'll be good though. I've been doing pretty well on money this tour. I've been trying to stick to $10 a day. That's pretty realistic I think. Some days you go over, some days you're under. It all washes out. Ultimately the goal would be to get to a point where Bros has Per Diems. For those who don't know that is money the band pays it's members for expenses incurred (food, toiletries, etc.) on the road. It's paid daily (obviously, per diem...). Most bands that are big might get $20-$30 a day, that's for crew members and roadies. The management picks up the actual band's expenses. For an indie hardcore band of considerable size, I think anywhere from $5.00-$20.00. When Joel toured with CBK they got $10.00/day. Bros would love to have anything. I'd fucking love $5.00 a day. That'd be great. One day. The first couple of tours are going to be a little rough. We'll get there eventually.

Wherever we stay tonight I hope it's freezing ass cold. I want to sleep IN my sleeping bag. I love my sleeping bag, it's so cozy and warm. I like it better than my bed at home... That us unless you're sleeping ON TOP of it and wake up with your pillow sopping wet from your head sweat. That sucks. That is not cool.

People say North Carolina is so pretty. Those people are assholes.

We went to Wal Mart to grab some food. It's all about saving a couple of bucks. And hanging in the AC for a while.

We pulled up to the gig. It's in the back of a picture framing shop. The space is beyond cool. Big open room. I'm really exited to play tonight. There should be a good amount of people here, at least, that's what I'm hoping. I believe there are a couple of local bands which is how a show should be. We've been running into issues where the promoter is booking 4-5 touring bands on a bill. Unless those are all legitimately big name, big draw bands this is generally a mistake. Local bands are what draw people to the show. Local bands are out on the street, pounding the pavement doing the promotion. I know that in the past when my bands opened for a bigger national I would tell everyone and really work hard to promote it. That's what a "touring" band of our size counts on. A strong local opener who can pull a big crowd for us to play in front of. That's how shows work. That's not how things have been happening, and people want to know why show turnouts aren't great. A local band shouldn't overplay their area. They'll play two shows in a weekend in the same town, or play every week or a couple of times a month. These bands never think this affects their draw. It does.

Back to the gig - great space and best of all it's air conditioned. Let reiterate - it's air conditioned. That rules.

These last few shows with Hostage Calm and Make Do And Men have been great. I can honestly say that everyone I've spoken to in both of those bands is so nice. It's really refreshing to encounter such nice, outgoing dudes on tour. Being nice just makes everyone's life easier. We're usually the oddball band on the package. MDAM and HC are kind of mellow compared to us. I think most of the bands here are straight up hardcore. We always do very well in front of hardcore kids. We generally play quite well usually and always get a good reaction, but the best shows for us is when we're in front of hardcore kids, our audience. I know it sounds totally ridiculously obvious that a band does best in front of its core audience, but some bands have a lot of crossover appeal. Especially in today's global musical marketplace. Technology makes it possible for lots of bands to reach a large number of people more easily than they could in the past. Take a band like Cruel Hand for example - they're a hardcore band. Through and through. Yet - they have elements of metal that would crossover very well in front of a metal audience. I just don't think we are that band. We're a hardcore band and we really need to play in front of hardcore kids, or at least now, at this point in our career.

I believe we are staying with Matt from Comeback Kid tonight (die tonight!!). I'm sure the accommodations will be great. I really need a good night of sleep. I'm pretty sure this lack of quality rest is affecting my mood.

Brothers is turning out to be a very punctual band. We are always early. Painfully early. I wonder what other bands do when they show up right before the show starts. Maybe they're catching a movie? I'll ask them tonight.

Ok... Here's the best (pfffffttt) part of tour right now. We are loaded in, and ready to go. Now: Hurry up and wait.

I thought tonight's show would be great for some reason. It was in a way... but not the way I expected. Tonight was still great. There were some aggressive bands playing tonight, so I thought. It was a fun show, we just played with some metal bands. Apparently anything just aggressive is just called "hardcore." Whatev. To be totally honest I didn't give a frig. We had so much fun with Make Do And Mend and Hostage Calm. It's so nice to have that friendship. It puts such a feeling of positivity in the air. I had so much fun playing and hanging out it was so great. It's strange how 15 dudes can totally be on the same page. I hear so much about bands getting into it over dumb stuff. Certain bands carry reputations as being prima donnas or being difficult or being dicks, or really cool dudes. I can sincerely say that everyone in Make Do And Mend and Hostage Calm are totally top shelf dudes.

Hostage Calm and I heeled out on Morrissey for about an hour and a half after the gig. I knew right away from their "Bona Drag" haircuts three days ago that these dudes were down with Moz. Their music shows obvious influence as well. It was really great to trade Moz stories and joke about in a Mancunian accent. I'm really exited to hear their new record. Usually I get into a band, digest their music and then go see them live. With a band like Hostage Calm where the music is so intricate and nuanced it was strange to see it live first. I'm really curious to see what the record will sound like. The dudes were telling me they're really proud of the record and the record is fully realized. I can't wait!

We are headed to stay with this dude Matt in Charlotte, NC. He plays bass in Lowtalker and Comeback Kid. That's two awesome bands this guy is in. That's two more than most musicians I know!! We walked in his apartment and it was super cold. NICE!!! He cranked the AC for us. It was really neat and clean of course, I was stoked. It was nice to sleep IN my sleeping bag, not on top. I slept really well. I felt like I got some quality rest. I just sleep better in places like this. I like falling asleep not worrying about catching a STD from using the bathroom sink. I slept great. 7.5hr drive to Nashville for the next gig.

07.07 Richmond, VA

2010-07-08T09:38:00.001-04:00

I slept on top of my sleeping bag last night. It was wicked hot. Not too uncomfortable to sleep hot, but close. Once I was asleep I actually slept well. I had a dream that I got a bad haircut. I woke up in a panic and grabbing my head. We played with Hostage Calm (Quicksand reference!) last night and some of the dudes in the band were rocking his pseudo-Morrissey-long-on-top crew cut. I had a dream that I got that haircut and was ashamed and looked like a moron, but didn't want to shave my head so I had to act like I was into it. What a nightmare. My hair is the best. Bad haircuts are as bad as broken limbs to me.

We got some breakfast at Denny's. I love Denny's. $4.00 Value Slam!! I wanted to get the $2.00 Biscuit and Gravy/Hasbrowns Combo. Friggin sausage gravy. Biscuits rule. We need to stop at a Bob Evans when we get back to the midwest.

In Richmond. This city rules. It's really cool!! It's what I want Grand Rapids to be. West Cary St is the jam. Lots of cool shops. Lots of really cool shops. I was way into it. I stopped at Plan 9 (Misfits/Ed Wood Reference!!) Records. It is definitely the best record store we have ever been to on tour. It's the only record store that holds a candle to Vertigo Music. It was really cool. There wasn't really much for me there, a couple of cool things, but it was really great. I picked up a KMFDM record.

Tour would rule hard if I had a bunch of money. I'd stop at every cool shop and buy stuff. It's cool to see all those cool shops and businesses.

Wes and I stopped at American Apparel in search of some sunglasses for him. We asked the girl at the counter if she was into melodic hardcore, she told me she wasn't anymore but she was still straight edge. I asked her if she was into Down To Nothing, she said she wasn't. This blows my mind. Down To Nothing is the best straight edge band playing right now, and they're from Richmond!!! She also berated me for using foursquare. She was a total bummer. I told her I'm on tour and I have to kill 23hrs a day so foursquare helps. Some balls on this broad! She told us about this place called the Lamplighter. Supposed to be awesome food, fresh roasted coffee, etc. We checked it out. It was cool, but too pricey. We bailed. We ended up grabbing some Chipotle. I got a salad. Solid move. I always get so sick from being full at Chipotle. The salad was a great move. It sits way better than the tortilla and rice. I think I heard somewhere that the tortillas at Chipotle are the most fattening thing on the menu. I'd believe it. They taste delicious. Usually anything delicious is super bad for you when you're eating out.

We walked around a little more. We stopped at Barnes and Noble and some of the dudes bought some books. I brought a book this tour so I'm good. Richmond is a great town. It's just hot as fuck.

I'm exited to play with Make Do and Mend and Hostage Calm again. This heat is just so draining. I'm really interested in house shows. The show tonight is a house show. It's pretty funny. We play these house shows and they all have names. It's like they're just houses, but they're all named. In the mp3 generation where the music industry is struggling it's really neat to see these people take the initiative and host bands in their homes. I wig I had a house I could host shows in. It would be cool. Probably not actually. People don't really respect anything. Kids would act stupid and break stuff I'm sure.

This show will be fun. Turnout is a bit light so far. One of those "we'll wait around and maybe more people will show" scenarios. I'm just waiting around by the merch. The rest of the dudes went to get beer. I'm not really into that. I got wild one night of tour, but past that... I haven't touched a drop. I have self-control issues. One or two beers doesn't sound fun. If I'm going for it, I go all the way. Plus - I like hanging with the dude from The First Step. Even though everyone in his band drinks and I'm sure it's no biggie to him. I really admire straight edge people. That dude is a lifer. No edge break ever. You can tell. I really have a deep respect for that. Moderation is not in my vocabulary. I kind of wish my friends didn't drink. I give into peer pressure drinking constantly. If my friends didn't drink it'd probably not interest me.

All the dudes in Bros are drinking. Not me tonight. Honestly - I think that's just the way I'm wired. I have always been that way. If the world is turning left, I want to go right. If you say it rules, I'll go out of my way to prove to you it sucks. I guess I'm a dick. I wasn't made into this. I was born this way. I've been this way as long as I can remember. Anyway - all that to say I'm not drinking tonight. I already cut loose once on this tour it won't happen again. Someone has to drive the van!!! Its few and far between the times you can pry Joel out of the driver's seat and I really like driving so it's cool.

Beer is empty calories anyway.

Speaking of empty calories - I bought 2 bags of gummi bears for $2 yesterday. I ate one and kept the other for today. I've been kind of a sweet tooth lately. Something sweet and non-chocolate has been sounding good to munch on post gig. I forgot that gummi bears don't do well in hot cars. I went for the snack attack post gig. Failure!!! I pried open the bag and found a rainbow blob of gelatinous goop. Part of me wanted to dig into it anyway. I didn't. I would feel like such a fat kid. Can you imagine some tubby fuck scraping melted gummi bears out of a torn up bag, sticky strings of multicolored sugar semi-solids hanging from my chin and fingertips. Ugh. Now I'm hungry for gummi bears again. Writing this I'm talking myself into digging the blob of gummi goodness out of the trash for a big bite of sugar spiked power-up.

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want gummi bears.

I'm so thirsty right now. I don't know what I want. Food would be good.

On to the gig. The venue was a house called Tighthouse! It was in a really small, cramped basement. Perfect. It made it feel like there were a lot of people at the show. Way more than there probably were. We played really well. We did a short set. 7 songs. It felt right. The good shows are starting to blur together. I'm not sure what separates one from the next. Tonight was fun. I want to say it was the best night yet, but I feel like I've said that a lot. That's a good thing really. I feels like the shows are getting better as we go. That's awesome. It's certainly keeping morale up.

Cut to real time live action reporting. I'm sitting on the steps of the house we played and some of the Bros dudes are hanging with the Hostage Calm dudes across the street. The police just pulled up, turned on their lights and appear to be searching the car. Hmmph. I wonder how this will shake out. Some of the dudes are probably a little tipsy. I hope no one gets popped for public intoxication. The dude who booked us here said the cops are fucking pricks around here. Explaining DIY Hardcore to the average person is like explaining chemistry to a dog. They usually just smile and nod and don't understand a fucking thing. I can only imagine what it must be like to explain yourself to a cop. "They hate us, we hate them. We can't win." cue Greg Ginn guitar feedback. I don't know what's going on over there. For all I know the cop is a big Hostage Calm fan and is buying some merch. I doubt it though. This is only cementing in my mind that I should not drink on tour. The last thing the world needs is for some small cocked ex-jock frat fuck with a badge and a gun to relive his high school fantasy of pummeling punks while receiving a government paycheck.

Cops left. Some dude was drinking in the street. Got off with a warning. I guess my whole band was over there. They walked up to me told me "no worries man" and went into the back yard again. Here I sit. Alone on the steps of an old Victorian house on a hot summer night in Richmond, Virginia. 730.4 miles from my bedroom at home. It feels weird. I wonder who all these people are, what their lives are like. Is it obvious when walk the streets that I'm not from around here? Do I vibe outsider? Or are people just people no matter where they are?

Talking to the dudes in Make Due And Mend about the music scene in their state the story seemed similar to the Michigan scene. Eerily similar. I guess people are just people no matter where they are. Some live where it's hot, some live where it's cold, some live by the water, some live landlocked doe hundreds of miles. We all sleep under the same sky. We all look at the same stars. We all see the same thing - the faces and names might be different, but it's all the same.

I saw a possum and a cat hanging out. I'm totally serious. This is no joke. They were walking around the sidewalk with each other. The cat wasn't hunting the possum or anything. Sometimes the possum took the lead, sometimes the cat did. I wonder if they were friends. It's funny, animals can get along. Maybe they were looking for a cool place to sleep in the muggy night. A cat and a possum. If you get 20 hardcore kids in a room it's a struggle to keep them from puffing up and trying to kill each other in the pit.

I didn't talk to anyone after we played. Fuck it. Someone said something that put me in a foul fucking mood. I separated myself so no one would get smacked the fuck around. When I'm mad I seriously think I'm capable of murder. I could skip that class in you take when you become a sniper in the marines that teaches you coping techniques for killing humans. I could teach the class. Here's the first lesson: I hate you and if you had any fucking sense in that hollow skull o yours you'd turn that sniper rifle on yourself you worthless, insignificant, self-serving, small minded grease stain.

I hope I feel better in the morning. Fuck this shit.

07.06 Baltimore, MD

2010-07-07T02:47:00.001-04:00

Ok. Now I feel better. We pulled up to my bro-in-law's pad just short of 5am. We just missed the sun coming up. I can't stress how awesome it was to sleep there. It was wonderfully clean and neat inside. So nice. We all slept like a million bucks. We had like amazing blackout sleep. As soon as I fell asleep it was hardcore rest. We woke up at 1pm and were so refreshed. We woke up, make a couple of pots of coffee, took showers and Zach and I did a load of laundry. I had not washed my gig clothes and they smelled like some straight clitty litter. It was so nice to stay there. I woke up and caught Matt for a few seconds before he headed out to work. I was nice. I totally missed his wife, we weren't woken up by them at all. This was exactly what we needed. After a shit day yesterday all of us feel like we are on cloud nine.

One of the weird things about the east coast is how small the states are. We drove through four states last night. Connecticut, Pennsylvania, New York and New Jersey. Wild. Joel and I did our night shift thing. I know he's good but I just feel like I have to stay up with him. He's into driving but it must super hard to stay focused on a night drive when everyone else is crashed out sleeping. It's cool. I don't mind keeping him company, he's told me before that I don't have to, but I don't mind. We had to stop about 40mins outside of West Chester for coffee we were fading hard. It was cool to drive past New York City. I've never been there, I'd love to see the city at some point.

After leaving Matt's we stopped at a Qdoba in Wilmington, DE. I love eating at Qdoba or Chipotle. It's a tad on the pricey side, but I'm always really full afterward. It counts for like 2.5 meals or something. Really good. Our buddy Justin called us out on twitter for not sampling the local cuisine. He's totally right!! We're such boners. We probably should be trying all the local eateries, buy it's hard sometimes. We're on a limited budget and if we waste $5 on some bunk meal, we're S.O.L. Justin is right though. We're this independent hardcore DIY band and we are fueled by Taco Bell, Starbucks, and Wal Mart Supercenters. You know - I really don't care. I'm an oddball. I moved around a lot when I was a kid. I find comfort in the familiar. Justin didn't call us out in a mean way, he's a totally funny dude. I'm not defending our actions at all either. You were supposed to read that last paragraph with a light, cheerful inflection in your voice. It's pretty funny. We are traveling all over an we just can't wait to get to some place we go to every five minutes evened are at home. Ha. We're boners. Local first? Not for me. Wallet first. I look at it this way, and this is certainly the case for me. I'd rather shop at some place like WalMart and save a bunch of money on groceries and necessities and take that extra money I save and blow it on some underground records at my local record shop. That's what I do. Its different for everyone. I do really enjoy eating at local restaurants back home. I find them to be superior in nearly every way. ONLY WOLFGANGS IS REAL. ONLY BANGKOK TASTE IS REAL. ONLY EL ARRERIO IS REAL.

Since we knockout a lot of the drive last night we only have a 2hr drive today. Piece of cake. Of course I can say that... I'm not driving!! The show tonight is going to rule hard. I'm so stoked. I'm really excited to check out a little of Baltimore. Hopefully the venue is in a cool area where we can scope out some cool stuffs. I've got my fingers crossed for a record shop.

One of the weird things about touring is time. At some times it feels like all you do is wait around and some times it feels like the day has passed you by. We got up got ready and left the apartment and it was almost 4:00pm. It felt like 10:00am. So weird. I feel like today has just started and it's nearly over. Really party lifestyle!! I can only imagine bands that actually rage and party every night must feel this way. Waking up as the sun is setting. That's wild. I'm really a morning person, so this whole thing is throwing me for a loop.

Got to the venue. I can say that thus far it is the coolest venue we have played in months and the show hasn't even started. It's that cool of a space. It's called the Charm City Art Space. It looks like a lot of really legit tours have come through. Lots of flyers with big names that come back throughout the years (2002-present). That means that the people who run this place are probably really legit. It's very comforting to know that things will most likely go quite smoothly tonight. I really, really like this space. Very Skelletones, right after Skells moved to the basement. But a slightly more industrial feel. It's still very clean and looks like kids respect the space. That is key to any venue surviving. If the kids don't respect the space you're fighting an uphill battle.

There is a soda machine here at the venue that only charges $0.50 for a can of soda. I can get behind those turn of the century (1999) soda can prices.

The first band asked Wes to borrow his kit... Will it ever end?

Tonight was a total blur. I mean that in a good way, and for some reason even though it seemed like a blur, I remember a lot. One of the coolest things about playing this type of music is getting to meet musicians you are into. It's al great that you can be into a hardcore or underground band and go to a show and meet that person. You can talk to them and hang out with them. That's not a luxury that is afforded to the average say, Iron Maiden fan. It works both ways. Sometimes you meet a band and they are total dicks. Sometimes it it alters the way you enjoy their music, sometimes not. I've had experiences both ways. Tonight was a really positive experience. I got to meet Fred Graves, drummer of my favorite straight edge band of all time, THE FIRST STEP. I never had the opportunity to see The First Step live, so it was very surreal to see that dude walk into the venue. I didn't know if he was just hanging out or if he was in one of the bands or what. I approached him outside and knowing full well who he was I asked him if he was the drummer for The First Step. His eyes lit up and we had a really nice chat. He is currently playing with Hostage Calm. He was beyond friendly. Fred watched our entire set. That was nice. A lot of touring bands don't give the time of day to locals or openers. Fred there to support hardcore. That dude watched every band. Really nice guy.

Our set was probably the best so far this tour. We are getting tight and really ripping hard. The stage was big enough for everyone to have plenty of room to move. We played really well but had a slight hiccup. We've been noticing that our cover of "The Freshman"' isn't really doing so hot outside of Michigan. One or two people may know it here and there but usually we get a lot of "that was cool dudes, who was that cover by?" I think part of it has to due with the fact that we are a little bit older than most of our fanbase. Not a lot of kids raised on '90s alt rock radio. A lot of these kids we are playing to were born the year that song came out. Plus, it's four and a half minutes long. In a genre like hardcore where the standard song length is 2-2.5 minutes, the freshman is an epic affair. Half way through the song I just wanted it to be over. For some reason that night the length really got to me. Part of it was probably the blank stares we were getting. Oh well. It's not a classic Hardcore cover like many bands do. It's not a Black Flag song, it's not a Cro Mags song. It's the Verve Pipe. Not exactly and instant cred booster in a faraway land. Older kids in MI love it, but we're going to drop it for the rest of this tour. It really seems to me that bands are playing really short sets these days. Like less than 20min sometimes. When we get up there and rock a solid 25min or up to 30min depending on the night I suppose it could be construed as longwinded. Even though I don't think so. This time issue caused is to be cut off prematurely tonight. We announced to the crowd we had one more and the promoter nixed it, citing that the show had a curfew and needed to move along. Fair enough Slightly anticlimactic, but the rest of the set was killer, so I wasn't too bummed.

It was the coolest venue. Cool as in rad, or sweet. The temperature was anything other than cool. For some reason I could not stop sweating all night. It was gross. It was just so hot. Triple digit hot. I couldn't cool off. I sweat profusely throughout Hostage Calm's set. I eventually just had to go get something cold to drink so Wes and I walked to a gas station. I was so hot and sweaty that when came up on a McDonalds before the gas station I just opted to stop in there to get a soda. Wow. It was crazy. A restaurant full of black people and Wes and I walk in. Racially, we were the odd ones out
and you'd figure we'd stand out. Apparently this was not the case. We stood at the front counter for a solid 6-7mins the only people in line while the staff talked to customers at the tables from behind the counter, goofed off and stood literally two feet away from us ignoring us. I thought it was kind of funny so I stood politely and waited. Eventually one girl told her manager she was going to take my order and the manager told her "no." She just kept messing around. Her manager called her over and talked to her, giving her a bunch of tasks to do and totally ignoring us. Eventually the manager walks over and said "What do you want?" "One large soda please." I paid for my soda, filled it up and sat down. I wasn't really mad although I had just experienced one of the worst customer service stories ever. I was just so relieved to be standing in the air conditioning, it really didn't matter to me. I had a nice talk with Wes about songs. It was a cool conversation.

We walked back to the venue and I chatted with Fred some more. He paid Brothers some pretty big compliments and me personally as well. It felt really good to hear that from someone who I respect highly!!

Speaking of people I respect, I've been a big fan of this dude who posts high def videos of hardcore shows on Vimeo. What sets this dude apart is that he uses creative videography and his sound quality is superb. His user name is Hate5Six. There was a dude filming us on the side of the stage and so I approached him to see if we could get in contact after he edited down the footage to see it. Turns out, it's this Hate5Six dude!!! AWESOME!! and as a super cool bonus, he's an Indian dude. If you don't know, I'm half Indian so we had a little mini-bonding moment there. He was also beyond nice and very personable. I'm really looking forward to seeing the footage from the show.

We are staying at this dude Anthony's apartment He played in one of the bands tonight. His apartment is nice and big. He just moved in and there is literally no furniture. Lots of floor space!! The only problem is that it too is hot as hell in here. We turned the AC down to 50 degrees 3 hrs ago and nothing is happening. Since he just moved in the utilities aren't in his name yet. Oh well. At least we're safe.

As I finish this everyone is asleep and Troy is snoring. I think that's everything, or as much as one might deem interesting. Goodnight.

07.05 New London, CT

2010-07-06T02:51:00.001-04:00

Yo - fuck these party animals. 5:34am is when this dude showed up to let us in. The dude's house was not that bad actually. We've stayed in much worse. They had a room with a bunch of air mattresses. Only sleeping for four people. I volunteered to crash outside the room on the futon. It was wicked uncomfortable. Added to the fact that I was sleeping on some Ikea-ass cheap futon it was a bajillion degrees. It was super hot. Waking up soaked in sweat hot. Not cool. It really sucked, we went to bed when it was full on daylight outside. Rough. And the window that faced my futon had no window dressings so the sun was in my face all night... er... day. I woke up at 9:30. My body would just not let me sleep. I got up and used the shower. It was nice to get ready leisurely. It's really nice to not be rushed, I took my sweet time shaving, doing my hair, etc.

Part of the reason I woke up so early was getting up to call a a repair shop. I found there was legit repair shop called the Guitar Mechanic. They were supposed to open at 10:00am and I fired off several calls to no avail. I called Guitar Center as well to talk to their repair guy. Dude has the day off. Strike two. Ugh. I really want to get this thing figured out.

We went to a Guitar Center and hooked up with the store manager. He was a really nice dude. He called the repair guy to see if he'd come in. In the meantime I thought I'd open the guitar up just to see if there was anything wrong that would pop out visually. I jiggled the connections and made sure all the connections were secure, plugging and unplugging the pickup clips. The guitar was passing signal, but the output was just drastically reduced. Whatever I did, it worked and the guitar appears to be firing on all cylinders. So that was nice. It's fixed and didn't cost me cent.

We tried to find a Starbucks this morning. The two Starbucks coffee shops we went to were both closed. This would never happen in GR. People love Starbucks, I thought this was the case all over the country. I see one on every corner across the country. Apparently New London, CT hates Starbucks. I like Starbucks, really the main reason we needed one was for the free wifi. Joel is putting together the last couple fall though shows. We did in fact get on that Baltimore show tomorrow. That's going to be a total of 3 shows with Hostage Calm and Make Do And Mend. That is beyond awesome. Brett Dierolf helped us get in touch with those dudes originally, so a hearty thanks goes out to him. Starbucks is nice because as a coffee fan, it is good to know you can go there and get a good quality cup. We did get some great coffee at a place called Bean and Leaf. I enjoyed a cup of strong, black coffee.

We got the oil changed in our van. Lamest story yet. Nothing of interest really.

Today was really boring. Lots of slumming around not doing a thing. I napped from 6:00-6:30 trying to make up for my 4hrs last night. We are playing in Baltimore tomorrow. We have to drive though New York and Philadelphia. Baltimore traffic is quite a clusterF as well as I have heard. We shall see.

I ate two smart dogs that were left over from the BBQ last night. I'm feeling pretty good. I've only spent $1.85 on food today. Up the punx I guess.

I'm not sure how tonight's show will go. Last night when people asked us where we were playing tonight and we told them The Eclectic, a strange look came across their face. They never said anything negative, but they acted surprised or something. I wonder what we're in for. Maybe I was reading to much into it. Maybe that's just how Easy Coast people are.

Ok. We played the show. In all honesty, it was pretty crappy. Monday night, after a holiday weekend. It just sucked. No money. Flat out. It just happens sometimes. Maybe it was our time slot. We played in the middle of the show. It was painfully hot inside. Maybe kids just needed a break. Honestly, there were no kids of whom to speak. It was one of those night playing to members of other bands. I think maybe a handful of people paid, maybe five, definitely less than ten. Way less. I guess the part I find hardest to believe is that we didn't sell a lick of merch. Not a cent. The cards were stacked against us in every way against us tonight. It didn't stop us from playing hard. It didn't mean we didn't give it our all. It just happens.

Truth time: I wish I could say that I had fun playing with Under Anchor. I didn't. They are a band from around our area and we've known them for a while. The purpose of this blog is not to spill gossip and snakey stories throughout the hardcore community That is the kind of poison that chokes out community, severs friendships, and hurts feelings. Again - there is no big story, no huge gossip to spread and this blog is only representative of my thoughts. I just didn't have a great time.

It just wasn't the best night all around. I'm not really bumming or anything. Or am I????

Yes. Here's one point of contention I will address tonight: borrowing gear.

We don't let people borrow gear. I understand accidents happen and strings will break and amps will fail and if you're a cool guy I'm certainly willing to help and accommodate you. What I'm talking about is the bands that show up and don't have gear. We have been encountering this a lot lately and frankly, I'm sick of being made to look like a prick because I'm prepared. It's happened a lot recently and it happened again tonight. Some guy in a band that followed us didn't have a guitar rig. Somehow, according to him this was my problem, not his. He showed up to a gig without anything and he expects me to help him out. Why in the world would I trust my gear, which I've invested quite literally thousands of dollars into, just because he didn't show up prepared. We recently lent one of my cabs to a band back home and they were dicking around on stage and knocked over my cab, blah blah blah, damaged it, etc, you've heard this before in other posts. Well even after explaining this to people they still act like I'm the asshole. This song and dance is then multiplied by the fact that Brothers has really nice gear that we take care of meticulously. The bands that want to borrow our shit are the kind of bands who buy something because it's cheap, not because it sounds good. It's a total attitude for these people. I'm fucking sick of it. When you the try and explain to people that you're on the road and this gear is what's getting us though every night and we can't risk to have it damaged or destroyed so far from home. The inconvenience would be beyond gigantic. People will then make these BS claims like, "I'll pay for it if something goes wrong," or "I promise I'll be super careful." what?!? Really? Like I'm going to trust a total stranger. Like their word means shit to me. It's not like they've showed up to a picnic with a basket full of food and just forgot the napkins. These assholes are like total strangers who show up to your picnic, sit on your blanket and demand full access to your food and beverage knowing full well they were going to a picnic but didn't bring anything. And somehow somehow think it is your responsibility to make sure they are have food and drink, so they're giving you shit for telling them they can't have a bite of your sandwich. It's not like they showed up to a picnic with a full basket of food and an ice pack broke, making your sandwiches soggy. No. These godless heathens think it's your responsibility to furnish their lunch and if you don't - they'll call you an asshole up and down. Fuck that. Next time someone asks me to borrow a head or cab or anything I'm going to give them an open handed slap to the mouth.

Oh well, you have to take one in the "L"' column every once in a while. It will just make the victory of tomorrow's gig that much sweeter.

We are currently driving to Philadelphia to stay at my brother in law's place. We got to drive past New York City. That was really cool. I want to visit that place someday. Tomorrow we hit Baltimore, a city I've always wanted to visit. I can't wait for tomorrow. Tomorrow will rule. Let's just put all out cards on the table here, TODAY SUCKED. Tomorrow will be much better.

Location:Washington St,New London,United States

07.04 Plantsville, CT

2010-07-05T03:44:00.001-04:00

After totally striking out last night trying to find a place to stay last night we drove an hour and stayed at a Motel 6. Fucking $74. At least it was comfortable. At least we were all able to shower.

We woke up around 11:30 and headed out to the closest Starbucks for a cup. We had some troubles with their wifi and had a show fall through so that was kind of a disappointment. Joel was hoping to fire off a couple of emails to get us a show. We did receive good news that the show we had fall through in Richmond came back through. We are going to be playing two dates with Make Do And Mend and Hostage Calm. That's going to rule.

At Starbucks we were approached by a guy who asked us if we were a band. We totally vibe either band or escaped convicts. He asked if we had any CDs on us and asked to buy one. He picked up a "Tragedy" EP. That rules. And he liked it!! We know because after we left Starbucks we went to a mall to kill time where we ran into him! I offered him a refund if he was dissatisfied with his product. He said we (Brothers) were "right up his alley." It was really cool to run into a guy who would just blind buy a record like that.

This tour we are trying to keep track of all of our door/guarantee money, merch money and expenses. I'm really interested in seeing the numbers at the end of the tour. I think we are doing pretty well. Although we did jar a little cash cushion to sit on before we left. (see my BLED FEST blog) The horrible "pop punk" band we played with last night was driving this massive RV and hauling a trailer. We were talking to them about gas mileage, etc. They spend a fortune. Brothers is lucky enough to travel in a 15 passenger band with all of our gear packed in. Not hauling a trailer = better gas mileage. I don't know why more bands don't do this. We are a five piece with full backline and quite a bit of merch. We do have a rooftop carrier for our luggage, sleeping bags, etc. Interesting fact: our van was previously owned by Anathallo. They were pretty big in the indie world. They toured in this van as a 7 piece with all their gear and personal effects. Wild. Were kind of packed in tight, we've got a little room, but two more people plus their stuff would be crazy. We used to tour in our bassist Zach's old van. We affectionately referred to the Death Machine or "The DM" for short. This thing was a roving death trap. It was beyond dangerous. This thing constantly leaked noxious fumes and had a little headlight issue. Meaning in the dead of night in pitch black surroundings the headlights would intermittently effectively making us nearly crap ourselves. We were totally pumped to get a van that wasn't held together with zip ties, duct tape, and prayers to God. We all love our van. Joel named it the Boner Machine, or "The BM" for short. The BM guides us safely. The front end is kinda wanged right now, but we'll get it looked at. It drives like a dream though. I logged a few hours a couple of days ago. We refer to that is "living the dream." It's a thing of beauty. Cruising down the highway, doing 65 (gotta conserve gas!!) with your bandmates and gear in tow. Listening to something on the stereo that the other dudes hate. At least that's my deal. Yesterday it was The Smiths.

I'm really feeling for Joel, our singer right now. He's got a lot on his mind right now. It must be tough. As it sit here typing this I just heard word that our New Jersey show fell through. The good news is that we made buddies with the person doing merch with the "pop punk" band last night and are getting with them to possibly set up a show. They were from New Jersey. Joel really deserves a big pat on the back. He takes the weight of this band on his shoulders, not because he has to, but because he wants to. He will occasionally delegate things to us if he is busy, but he is the backbone of this band's work ethic. He singlehandedly booked this tour and it was a total pain for him. Dates falling through are part of "paying dues" but it still sucks. Hopefully we'll get it all figured out. Joel works really hard on behalf of this band. I'm not saying the rest of us are lazy... (Except Dave... and Zach... j/k) but Joel really takes it upon himself to make sure we are as legit as we can be. We all offer to help him, but he's just so passionate about it that he just does it himself. He does whine and cry about it like a punkassbitch every once in a while (*wink wink*) but he deserves a special note. Good job buddy. IAWPOY.

This gig was supposed to have a Vegan potluck at 4:00. It is now 5:34 and I am hungry as frig. Why won't this thing get on! I see all the delicious treats in the kitchen! Unleash them unto mine stomach! I declare, a feast shall be had, and I shall pay not a pence for it! We did find out one kind of bummer. We thought we might grab some beer to relax with on this, the day of our glorious nation's birthday but were informed that there are no alcohol sales in Connecticut on Sundays. New York is the closest state that sells alcohol on Sundays and it's an hour a half away. Oh well. It's probably for the best. We don't need to rage. I thought we would have got that out of our systems a few nights ago, but you know what they say... no rest for the wicked. Who am I kidding? We are such pansies. Hardly the 24/7 party machine that a lot of bands are on the road.

I'm totally into this house. It's like a throwback pop/punk 90s thing. REAL POP PUNK. I'm talking some drunk punk 90s shit too. Lots of cool ass cheetah print stuff, martini glass pictures and a decorative fez here and there. Totally awesome. It's a total throwback. I'm really stoked on being here. The potluck was great. I had probably the finest potato salad I've ever had. Really top shelf. I hope the show tonight goes well. I hope we do well in front of this crowd. I know we will, I just hope we bring that Brothers high energy, we will translate well. This tour has been a bit odd so far. The only straight up hardcore show we played we played less than 2 songs before kids started fighting. Its good to see that punk rock is alive and well in Connecticut. I'm serious. I wish this kind of punk scene was in Grand Rapids. It's very similar to the kind of scene I grew up in the mid to late 90s in the midwest. I feel very at home and comfortable here. Days like this make playing the waiting game totally fun. The hardest part of touring is just sitting around doing nothing waiting to go on stage. It isn't like we can just go crazy every day and spend money doing stuff. We're all on a bit of a budget. Free food like we got today makes the day even better.

Ok - I'm sitting in the van. Post gig. Here's the scoop. I had a rubbish beginning to the show. Last night we I had an issue with what I thought was my cabinet. When we set up I was still having that issue. Troy and I scrambled frantically to try and diagnose the problem. We swapped every configuration of amp/cabinet/cable before coming to the slow, painful realization in what reality was probably less than 10 minutes that the issue was the GUITAR not the cabinet. You see, as the story goes, a band from Lansing borrowed my cab a few weeks back and whilst fucking around on stage, knocked it over denting in the input jack and tearing the grillcloth. The grillcloth can't be fixed and the metal jack is probably going to be wicked expensive. It was an accident, but I'm still super bummed. Troy is super bummed too because he let them borrow the cabs when they weren't really his to lend. In all honesty, getting super pissed at someone isn't going to bring by cab back, so I was really kind of over it. I mean, it sucked really bad - I go out of my way to take care of my gear, but crap happens.

You see - Brothers is the band that is 99% of the time we play, the most professional band. We never have equipment malfunctions. We never borrow gear, and here we were, that band. I felt so sick. I wanted to throw up. We were the band that I hate. We were the band that I don't take seriously when I see them. It was my fault. The shame I felt was almost unbearable. This is my dream. This is my life. My fucking guitar... never in a million years would you think it's a guitar. Joel and Troy weren't pissed at me or anything. They know that this is just a freak thing. The good news is I carry a backup guitar and the show could go on. Upon a few hours of reflection it was probably much worse in my/our heads than it was in reality. We really weren't delayed that long, and to these punk kids it was probably a pretty common problem they see. Still, to us it was a big deal. At least to me. We want to be that band who has their ducks in a row, the band who shows up, plugs in, and unleashes like they own the friggin' joint. And we eventually did. After figuring it was the guitar and borrowing a head from one band and a cab from another, eventually reverting to my head through a borrowed cab, I plugged in my backup (Which by the way, was my first time using it, it's brand new, and it sounded amazing!!) and started the set. The set was abbreviated, but we were going to abbreviate it anyway. During the second song Troy broke a string and I had to cover his part in "Trapped." Sheesh. When it rains, it pours. There could have been much worse problems, but it still hurts our pride. But really... we rocked 'em.

Since this was a loosey-goosey party we thought we should play "Party Time!!" Problem: Wes has never played party time. Earlier in the day when we had decided to play it Wes and I took to the van to learn it. We played it about 20 times in the van with Wes air drumming the parts. We then crawled into the loft for me to pull out a guitar and run through it with him "semi-live." I just grabbed my backup guitar, since it was the most easily available and used that to practice with Wes. Wes commented on how cool that guitar was and how I should use it tonight. Hmmph. Who would've known? I guess I should have taken his advice!! Anywho--- We played the song great. Wes really knocked it out of the park. He's stepped up to the plate big time this tour. While it is a tremendous bummer to not have Dave out with us, it's nice to be out. I think Bros. are going out in September. I'll be in school. I will feel Dave's pain soon enough. The thought of those dudes going out without me makes my heart ache. It makes me queasy and bums me the hell out. But - it is for the better good of the band, and I know that there is always a place for me when I'm done with school. We all have priorities. I love this band and am so committed to it, and really - I doubt we're going to become the next Have Heart by September, so I'll be ok. We are planning on doing a West Coast tour in January since I have that whole month off. That will be unreal. I'm really exited to see the east coast on this tour and really stoked on seeing the west coast this tour. I'm a kid, born in Kansas. Raised in the midwest. Here I am, in a van, making it happen. Getting out of my city and seeing a bit of the world. Meeting people, playing music, wuite literally - living the dream. I'm blessed beyond words. Most of all I have a loving, supporting, caring wife whom I love and care for greatly back home. I'm kind of banking on this whole, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" thing. I know that I miss her. I know she misses me. At the same time, what an opportunity. I'll tell my dogs/children about this one day. (We haven't decided which one we want. It's got to be one or the other. Not both) Hopefully this tour is the beginning, not the end.

Even with all the BS tonight, we played f'ing great. We really gave it to 'em. On top of that, I really enjoyed the bands we played with. Some psych-rock freakout band with an old pirate and a pedal steel player played before us. They were awesome. Sadplant, a sweet punk band played before us. They covered Electric Six's "Gay Bar." Highlight of my night. Another great band played after us, a female fronted punk band called The Jesse Minute. Check them out at www.myspace.com/thejesseminute Really great stuff, I picked up their new CD. Nice dudes too (I didn't talk to the girl in the band. Girls have cootees). Far and away, this was the best night of the tour thus far. I had had a blast, ate more than my fill of tasty food and rocked out, even it it was under a bit of duress. I think we are staying with the promoter tonight and tomorrow. Hopefully his house isn't a pigsty. I'm to fragile tonight to rough it. I'll sleep in the van if I need to. The van officially smells now. I thought I would address this situation preemptively by installing a "Black Ice" air freshener the first day of tour. Day four and the rock and roll pheromones, stage sweat, old clothes and Taco Bell farts of five dudes has overpowered the mighty Black Ice. Welcome to tour.

We drove to the house that the promoter told us we could crash in. There was a light miscommunication and we got there and his roommate or whatever was passed out and not answering his phone. We drove an hour to get there. So we decided to hit up a Taco Bell. Closed. So we went to a Wal Mart supercenter. We all bought some snacks. I bought some Skippy natural peanut butter on sale for $3.00. It will go well with the rice cakes I brought. I also picked up some carrots and hummus. We ate in the Wal Mart parking lot. Very glamourous. Now we are waiting for the promoter to call us when he is on his way. Keep in mind, he is a hour away when he calls. It's now 3:34am and this dude is still probably partying his ass off. Eh. I know this may sound bitchy but it's really not. To be honest, it's what I expected. We are not some big band, we're going to get dicked around a little. I'm not bitter or whining. It's part of paying dues. It's a long way to the top. The dude said we could sleep in super late, but since we're already in the gig town for tomorrow, I'd like to see a bit of the town. Or at least a guitar repair shop. We shall see. The neighborhood the house is in is kinda sketchy. Not too bad. I hope we can park in the long driveway. If we can't, I'm sleeping in the van. We'll see how this night pans out. In my mind I'm picturing quite the house. He said his buddy is an ex-Marine. He's also upstairs, passed out, car in the driveway, lights on, and not being woken up by his ringing phone. I can only imagine what some shellshocked, post traumatic stress disorder, substance abusing, ex-Marine's house must look like. Ok. Maybe that part was bitching.

07.03 Pittsfield, MA

2010-07-04T01:36:00.000-04:00

It pained me greatly to leave the Royal Inn this morning. The kindness of their staff and the stiffness of their drinks will not be soon forgotten.

I opted to drive this morning. Knocking out a handful of hours behind the wheel. No major incidents. Apparently I change lanes a little sharply. Apparently this jostles the panty liners of the 4 ladies in the van with me. I DID AN EXCELLENT JOB!!! I did kinda almost miss one exit. But I made it. I just love driving on I-80!! I tore though that highway a few weeks ago when my wife Lisa and I visited her bro in Philly. I like driving that highway.

I've got my headphones on for the first time this tour. I like it. I get to listen to my rad music choices. My supreme taste never ceases to amaze even me!!

It's totally hilarious to look over at Troy who is tapping the steering wheel and nodding his head singing along to the car stereo. He is listening to Korn. I'm listening to some Black Metal. I can't hear the Korn so I'm imagining that he also is enjoying some tasty metal, not over there in the driver's seat getting down with the sickness.

Ewww Wakkka Ka Ka. Oh. Oh.

We stopped at 2 different Sheetz gas stations today. I had the pleasure of feasting on a 12" veggie sub sandwich. In a word: badfukkinass. It was really tasty and was only $4.22. Brothers is currently seeking some type of endorsement deal with Sheetz, with possible franchising opportunities in Michigan. I'm still somewhat bitter about my burrito, but the sub more than made up for it. Let me offer you this piece of solid advice. I opted to get some pesto on my sub, best choice ever. It really knocked it out of the park.

I called a Guitar Center in Scranton looking for a quartet of 6L6 Mesa Boogie tubes. The girl who picked up the phone had no idea what I was talking about. Moron. The conversation went like this:

Hi, I'm looking for a quartet of boogie 6L6 tubes
- uhh ok. What kind?

A quartet of 6L6 boogie tubes
- um like tubes for an amp?

Yes. Like for an amp.
- ok. I'm not sure. Can I call you back?

Sure - quartet means four by the way...
- Ok I'll call you right back

She called back and they didn't have any. I can't stress hard enough to any non-musician reading this how basic of a question this is. It's as simple as walking into hardware store and asking if they stock ladders and them saying, "are those the ones that help you get taller when you stand on them?" it was that simple of a question.

I'm really exited to play Massachusetts today. Iv never been there. I hope there is something cool to do around the gig. Something cooler than a Sheetz. Upon reconsideration, what could possibly be cooler than a Sheetz?

We pulled up to the venue and it was a cool punk record store. Between this shop and the Mt. Pleasant record store I'm really amazed at how many of these small, niche record stores exist. I mean, I work for Vertigo Music in Grand Rapids and the shop's inventory we played in tonight was about the size of Vertigo's Roots/Americana section. Truth. And it was their whole inventory. We had a slightly better experience tonight at this shop than we did in Mt. Pleasant. We arrived quite early and checked out the shop. Again, I'm spoiled by Vertigo and nothing in there really tickled my pickle.

We decided to grab some Mexican food from the restaurant, Pancho's a few doors down. It was really good. I just got some back bean soup. I was still full from my amazing Sheetz sub. I dug the restaurant. It reminded me of El Arrerio in Grand Rapids. I'd recommend it if you were in Pittsfield, MA... considering there isn't really shit to do in this town.

After the Mex we loaded in (or did we load in and then get mex? I don't remember) and started the waiting game. We chatted with some of the other bands and just talked about Angry Birds. This game is consuming all of us. I pushed a pretty hard sales pitch for Crush The Castle, a game I feel that is superior in its play, skill required, and straight up fun. Troy bought it. Medieval themes are way cooler than Angry Birds. I've beaten Crush The Castle twice, so I'm currently working my way through Angry Birds.

Enough on iPhone time wasters - The best part of my day was that from 6-7pm I got to Skype chat with my lovely wife Lisa. It was really nice to see and hear her at the same time. I don't think words can truly express how wonderful it was to be able to utilize this technology to help keep us strong in our marriage. I'm privileged to have access to it and futhermore, even more privileged to have an amazing wife who supports me pursuing my dream.

Tonight was the night of the cold shoulder. I tried talking to some punk as fuck kid about his MxPx tattoo. Judging from his current dress as a elitist crust punk piece of trash, his MxPx ink was a hold over from his Christian Punk days. I could tell he was slightly ashamed when I pointed it out, but at the same time I told him he should be proud of it, and they were a great band. When he looked at me like I was a fuckstick I told him I wasn't patronizing him and that I legitimately love MxPx. He just gave me the stink eye. Kids are such trend hoppers, it makes me ill. You are allowed to like more than one kind of music, you know... You can like MxPx AND Nausea, it's OK. In fact, it's kind of cool, but you're too much of an ass patch having cock puppet to realize it. Fuck him.

We kind of got Shanghai'd into playing first. When the super-passive venue owner asked me if we wanted to go on I told him, sure - whenever you want, it's your place. He responded, "Aw man, don't put this on me, when do you guys want to go on? Do you want to set up your stuff now?" I hate passive aggressive people. He was dicking me around. I just wanted a straight answer from the promoter of the frigging show. Oh well, set up and played the waiting game some more waiting for some kids to show up. None did. We went on and played to a handful of the other bands. A lot of the guys in the other bands checked out and walked outside during our set. Two girls just sat along the wall and played with their cell phones. We didn't really set their world on fire, but hey - we had a blast, we were into it and gave a great performance. It was just one of those nights. I think one of the other bands may have been making fun of us for being what they would probably consider to be "Jock Hardcore" Maybe they were, maybe they weren't, but either way I really enjoyed their band when they played. When I tried to talk to the band earlier about the dude's Cathedral longsleeve he just shrugged. Underground traitor. When I tried to compliment the band after the set I was met with a similar reaction. Oh well. I liked their band, but they were teenage cocks from hell. May they grow one day to realize what dicks they were. Until then - keep playing to 5 people, it'll make you depressed, maybe enough to put a gun in your mouth. That'd be fun. Try that sometime.

The children don't get it. We are in this together. Some call it punk, some call it hardcore, many get caught up in subgenres. Is it thrash, or crust, or gutter, or straight edge, or melodic, or metallic, or whatever. People get so caught up in labels. In the immortal words of my great friend J.K. Romendyk - "Like what you like. Fuck everything else." We are all part of the underground movement. We are all part of what is supposed to be a resistant culture, an alternative for people who are not buying the mainstream. We are supposed to work together. Punk bands who don't like hardcore bands because it's not their scene is the equivalent of musical racism. We are all musicians, perusing what we love. We all need to work together for the common good of our artistic pursuits.

SPEAKING OF ARTISTIC PURSUITS, we played with some "pop punk" band from New Jersey. Now the deplorable concoction of metalcore and pop rock the kids are calling "pop punk" today is a direct piss stream in the face of the masters: NoFX, Screeching Weasel, The Queers, The friggin Ramones, for goodness sake. This whole sound of bands like Four Year Strong is like reverse pretentious retardation manifested in musical form. It's beyond awful and should be aborted immediately. Now while I have just spoken on uniting the underground, this group tonight said something in a song that set me off. I was politely watching their set, affording them a courtesy they did not afford me and they had this chant part they wanted the crowd to do that went something like "Get money, got to get paid!!" I just found it offensive. That type of materialism has no place in a punk establishment. Are you trying to get paid, or are you trying to make an artistic statement because something inside you convicts your conscience to create art? If you are trying to just "get paid" you are a fucking moron. Go to school, get a job. That's a sure fire way to get paid. Sure, there are other ways, but if you're looking for the most direct rout to "get money, get paid" crack the books and iron the your suit kid. Now on the other hand if you're just trying to be funny or whatever and promote that schtick in your act about being some "baller" band then I think you are an even bigger moron who is beyond delusional and whose van should proceed head first off a very tall cliff. If you're in this shit to get on stage and talk about making money - even if its in jest, to put that into one of your songs, to try and get people to sing along... I fucking hate you. Good luck with your career. I hope you stay fulfilled. I seek to work on a higher level. I want to create something that means something to someone, I want to be a band that changes peoples lives, not a band that motivates someone to flaunt materialism like it's some kind of badge of honor. Fuck that. That sucks. I stand against that.

I represent the true underground resistance. I love music too much and am too invested to stand idly by this corruption. I will not tolerate it, I will not support it. From "pop punk" trendsters, to Punker-than-thou kids with Tragedy backpatches driving their parent's brand new Volkswagen Jettas, I say: Fuck you.

I will now paraphrase: I read in a Fenriz interview where someone asked him why they (Darkthrone) had turned their backs on Black Metal. The genius Fenriz responded, "We did not turn our backs on Black Metal. Black Metal has turned its back to us!"

All that speil and I didn't even talk about how my cab took a shit on stage tonight. Oh well. The stories were are making on this tour will pack my memory with lots of great stories for years to come.

07.02 St. Mary's PA

2010-07-03T08:52:00.000-04:00

I want to apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors I have. I'm doing this on an iPhone and by the end of the frustrating experience of typing long passages with my thumbs I really don't feel like doing any proofreading or revisions.

After sleeping surprisingly well in the van and accidentally showing Troy one of my testicles, I headed inside to brush my teeth, fix my hair and shave. In addition to being temporarily "edge" (I don't take Straight Edge lightly, it's a real commitment, I'm just committing to a temporary change) I always like to take care of myself. It's really important to me to not look like a slovenly wast of sperm on tour. I'm not trying to impress anyone I just want to look nice for me. A lot of the kids in bands look super gross, and smell worse! That sucks. When I see a band who's van looks like a garbage truck and they look like a hipster homeless person I just can't take their band seriously.

Anyway - after surviving night and prettying myself we set out for St. Mary's, PA. We needed coffee, but kind of wanted a legit breakfast too. We stopped at IHOP and filled up. It was kind of expensive, it's hard to get out of IHOP with a decent meal, coffee and tip under $10, but it was tasty. Not the ideal meal every day, I'm trying to live on less than $10 a day. I'm doing well so far. I brought some food from home and my mom (embarrassment!! Not really though) gave me $20 for food.

The drive was nice. Again, we avoided toll roads and took the scenic route. It's so crazy to grow up in the Midwest and drive though the East Coast. The roads are so twisty and hilly. I forget the midwest is plotted out in neat squares. We stopped once at the legendary gas station of PA. For those that don't know it's a big chain of gas stations around here. Sheetz have a mini restaurant inside, you order from this touch screen menu and pay for your food and then pick it up at a pick up window. It's totally goofy. Most importantly, Sheetz has good coffee. I got the "serious dark roast" last time, it was great. I opted for the 100% Columbian. Delicious.

We pulled into St. Mary's and found the gig no problem. We hit up a Sheetz... AGAIN!!!! I could never live in a town like St. Mary's. Sheetz looked like the only thing around and it sure was. We kept asking people what was cool to do around here and they kept telling us Sheetz was it. I was kind of bummed. Sheetz had this big Qdoba/Chipotle looking burrito they were advertising for 3.99. Iy looked huge in the ad. In reality it was the size of a Taco Bell bean burrito. Since I'm vegetarian this tour I felt extra ripped off. Plus I got charged $0.39 for a bottle of Tabasco. Oh well. At least the little bottle was cute. One girl told us Radio Shack. I'm not a big city guy at all, but traveling to a town like this shows me that Grand Rapids is the perfect sized town for me.

The place we are playing is wicked sweet. Its a youth center. Kind of old school. I liked it. One band asked us to use our cabs, we had to decline. I personally got burned pretty hard a few weeks ago. Someone borrowed my cab and fucked it up. Long story. Forget it. Anyway - I feel bad telling people no, but fuck 'em. One band actually couldn't play because one band didn't have the gear. Whatever - if you don't show up ready to play, don't expect to play.

The show was amazing. Lots of great energy, really young crowd. Its always great to play in front of a young non-hardcore crowd. It's nice to show the children a real hardcore band. Some dudes get bummed to not play in front of their "audience" but I love it. You never know when you might be the band that some kid hears us and discovers a whole new genre he was unaware of. That would be the coolest.

Shows where we don't play for HC kids is ways different. Different in a good way. Different energy.

Originally we were having a problem finding a place to stay with such a young crowd. We found a kid who said his grandfather owned a motel and would give us a room for free!! Total score!! We checked into the Royal Inn to find we were hooked up with a big ass two bedroom suite with a kitchen and everything. Totally amazing. Here is where the story gets wild.

We were all so happy to be so fortunate that we decided to go grab some drinks at the motel bar. I know I said I was going to take it easy on this tour, but anyone who knows me knows that moderation is not really in my vocabulary. We showed up to the bar and I turned the charm on big time. I started talking about scotch and not being a pussy and the owner of the bar was so impressed he poured me some of his private stock Oban 14 yr single malt. Excellent!! And the more I acted a fool, the more the dude would give us free rounds. He gave us a round of shots too. I'm going to be a little egotistical right now and say that I fucking rule. I really do.

We headed back to the room and fucking CRASHED. I woke up feeling like my brain being split in half by the forces of Satan. I got up at 7:00 because I like to take my sweet time. After getting ready I stumbled across the parking lot to the front desk and asked for some Ibuprofen. I told the lady at the front how hard we raged and she took me into the kitchen, gave me some ibuprofen, a big glass of water and some coffee. Really nice people here, they took total care of us.

I will forever remember the royal treatment I received at The Royal Inn, Ridgway, (no "e") PA. I felt like a king my whole stay.

Location:Center St,St Marys,United States

07.01, Cleveland, OH

2010-07-02T11:25:00.001-04:00

I slept really well last night. It's always cool to sleep in you own bed. I'm gearing up for a lot of sleeping on floors in my beloved sleeping bag. I really love that thing. It's very comfortable, it's no bed, but it's sweet. Most of all I'll miss sleeping next to Lisa. It was a bit of a teary affair, and I'll really miss her.

We left this morning around 10:00 and got here at 4:00. The drive wasn't bad. We set our Garmin to avoid toll roads so we enjoyed a bit more of a scenic route getting here. Speaking of enjoy... My mom made us some hot and spicy chex mix. A double batch. We thoroughly enjoyed it. She also gave us a case of water. There was also a note from her and a $20 bill. The not said "Use thus for food. Preferably a vegetable. PS, hops is not a vegetable. Love, your mother." pretty cool.

Something interesting - I'm going vegetarian and "straight edge" for this tour. Basically - I'm just going to relax and not drink. I don't really need to drink, plus it's too much money and I'm prone to getting into disagreements when I'm liquored up. I'm going to be a pseudo-vegetarian as well. I won't buy any meat, but if we have some free food that has meat I won't turn it down. We shall see how the night goes... More to come!!!

Ok - so we ripped the gig. It was a lot of fun. It was great to play at Now That's Class. The turnout was less than stellar, but we made it work. I still had fun. I would love to play that place on a legit night. I still had a blast an we got our guarantee and sold a good amount of merch.

After the gig Joel, Troy, and Wes got some drinks after the show. Zach and I retreated to the van to relax and read our books. I don't really want to be the party dude on tour. It's nice to just unwind and read.

After that we drove to some dude's house. He informed us that we should remove our CD player if we could, there were recently a rash of car break-ins. Yikes. Wed and I opted to sleep in the van. Thank goodness we built that loft.

The neighborhood was indeed sketchy indeed. Around 3:30 a car with a stereo blasting pulled up right next to us in the middle of the road and parked, stereo still bumping. Then another car pulled up in front and parked in front of us, head to head and shone their headlights in the front of the van. It took me a second but i figured out We were getting scoped out for a break in. The headlights were there to give light and the loud car parked parallel to us provided cover for the potential break in as well as sound cover for a possible window smash. Realizing this I stood up in the van and started moving around. The headlights immediately went off. And the car next to us turned off. Keep in mind we are riding in a 15 passenger van with a roof too carrier and limo tinted windows. They knew we had something in there that we didn't want them to see. And we certainly do. We carry about $12-15k in gear and merch with us. I started making a bunch of movement. Both cars moved away. I'm pretty sure we avoided a break in. Whew. Sleeping in the van was worth the discomfort.

Location:Detroit Ave,Cleveland,United States

06.30 Mt. Pleasant, MI

2010-07-01T00:27:00.001-04:00

First day of the tour. It shouldn't really count, because we are sleeping in our own beds tonight. I'm counting it anyway.

Today is the kickoff for our two week tour. (dates at www.myspace.com/corebrothers). I'm really exited to hit the road with Brothers. We generally get a great reaction wherever we go, so I'm hoping our live show will earn us some new fans this tour.

Unfortunately/fortunately for Brothers our drummer Dave is unable to make the trek with us. Wes Black (ex-Saints Never Surrender, Continuance) is filling in on drums. We will miss the heck out of Dave. Wes is really working out well in practice as well as gelling personality-wise. I hung with Wes last night at IHOP last night as well. Regards go out to the TRVEsday Night Ritual crew. (Timmy!!!)

Pulling up to Mt Pleasant I was surprised to see B's Music Shop. I've heard about this shop from the Nain Rouge dudes years ago. It was a really cool shop. Lots of Reverend guitars. I really enjoyed playing the guitar.

Onto the gig: fucking shit. Long story short, 1.5 songs into the set some apes started fighting and we stopped playing. We tried to get them to calm down but they wouldn't. Kids. So we packed it up and are heading home.

What a waste. The last few days of my life have been crazy getting ready for tour and to have it ruined by some buttholes is beyond disrespectful. Thank you for wasting my time.

Fuck Mt. Pleasant. I found it to be quite the opposite of it's namesake. B's Music Shop was great, but seriously - we will never play there again.

Location:E May St,Mt Pleasant,United States

06.30 Mt. Pleasant, MI

2010-06-30T22:55:00.000-04:00

Location:E May St,Mt Pleasant,United States

Bled (F'ing) Fest: 05/29

2010-05-31T11:16:00.000-04:00

Cashed. I'm totally cashed. We rocked. We rocked suuuuper hard. We ruled. I say that beacuse we worked hard getting here. We're humble enough, but I really need to pat the band on the back. We did a great job.

After waking up early at Wes' place we went to Panera Bread for coffee. This is the worst. Panera is whack for coffee. The food is always good, but dammit all, I hate their coffee. No good coffee = no good day... USUALLY!!!

Despite poor coffee today ruled hard. Lots of great bands, lots of friends, lots of fun. If you want to know how many bands I watched, or wonder how many "sick sets" I caught - it wasn't many. This thing is a diary, so I'm going to talk about me -

I don't like live music. I know it sounds crazy, so I'll explain. I don't like for several reasons:

Firstly - I'm not into the whole ape mentality of metal and hardcore shows. It drives me nuts to be watching a band and be distracted constantly by the fear roing through my head that I might get kicked in the kidneys at any moment. It's very distracting. I can't concentrate on music with the thought of physical harm being inflicted. That being said - if the band I'm seeing isn't a band that illicits wild crowd mosh, the other things on my list will piss me off.

Second - I hate most people. I just don't like them. When I see a band that I really like and a bunch of douche-nozzle buttmuffins are hanging out it pisses me off. You know the type. Some people are into music because it's cool. Some people are into a certain type of music or band because they think that will validate their coolness. It's hard to determine everyone's individual motives, but you can usually tell.

Third: People suck. People plus more people equal people sucking in large groups. Not cool. Add alcohol and you have a sure fire recipe to fuel me all the way to pissed-ville and back.

Fourth: I was spoiled by punk at an early age. Some of the first shows where I fell in love with punk had a common factor; I met the members of the band. For me the live experience is the definition of personal. Why someone would go to an arena and see a concert is beyond me. I like to meet the band, ask questions, tell stories, buy merch, hang out. For me this makes the musical connection so much more real. I don't like someone hiding in a dressing room waiting to come out and address the fans onstage. I want someone out there with the people who are making their career possible. I know of Madonna (of similar) hung out at their merch table shit would get really crazy, but you get my point.

As a result of the above I generally only find myself a fan of watching bands live if I know them personally. I love going to see The Water Clocks or Tall Ships. There is a deep personal connection. Listening to music (for me) is intensely personal. Many times going to see live shows is so un-personal it ruins it for me. It gets lame. That being said, I really only watched a few bands at Bled Fest. I was able to avoid festival band overload-burn out. I caught a minute of Ambush! Unfortunately they played while Bros had to set up. Ot looked and sounded great. I had a great hang session with Grant, Ambush!'s guitar player that morning. I really enjoy that band. Talk about road dogs!! Their goal is to be on the road 300 days this year. They're well on their way to achieving that goal as well.

Tall Ships was sweet as always. What really bums me out about hardcore is how much if the success of the band is based on touring. To some extent, this is true in most forms of underground music. Without the backing and support of mainstream radio, television and marketing ads, it is difficult to achieve success without pounding some pavement. Metal however, seems to be an exception. As a devout METALHEAD I know that many of the bands that are successful rarely tour. Their albums sell regardless of their live presence (or lack thereof). Now, I don't know how much of a living they're making, but ultimately isn't the biggest goal to have lots of people hear your music? Anyway - Tall Ships bugs me because they are so great. They're so great and because of their inability to tour, not many people will see them. I don't chastise Tall Ships for their inability or unwillingness to tour, in fact, I support their decision to keep their band a pure, fun, thing. It is just such a bummer that I know there are hundreds of kids, probably thousands who would go GA-GA for Tall Ships if they saw them live. Hardcore kids are too linked into going to shows and being seen and buying shirts. No one cares dudes. Get the record, hang out, go home. You're not cool because you listen to a certain type of music. Tall Ships is amazing and one of my favorite bands. I love the fact that they aren't trying to be the biggest thing, they're just doing this band as their lives allow. That being said, I really with hardcore was different and a band like Tall Ships could put out a record and be successful without having to sacrifice their home lives. Its a real bummer. But really, I'm not that bummed. I'm lucky! I get to see TALL SHIPS!!! When the pages of hardcore history are written I'll be in the lucky column, because I got to see that great band play music. They're amazing. Good friends, good music.

CONTINUANCE - where do I begin. Awesome friends, AMAZING musicians, great performance. As I write this the guys are sleeping in my living room. It is a honor and privilege to put up a band of this caliber. Their performance was spot on, and was just what I needed. I just hope some kids caught on and saw some REAL HARDCORE in Continuance. They're the real deal. The story of their band is wild. I'll write about it someday when the time is right. I just cannot say enough positive things about this band.

FOOD - So - Brothers is somewhat of a big deal. At least in the Michigan hardcore scene, or at least the Western Michigan hardcore scene. Don't tune out now, we can't control how many people like us. We do what we do and if people like it, sweet. So I'm not being conceited here. We show up to Bled Fest and check in and get orange writstbands. The promoter Nate has always treated us like out of town royalty even though we live an hour and a half away. We figured we'd have access to the food that all the out of town/touring bands would have. Wrong. We were denied. You're supposed to have a Star bracelet, not an orange bracelet to have access to catering. Dammit. Oh well. When Continuance showed up Steven asked me if I wanted to go get some food with him, I told him how we didn't have the right colored wrist bands, etc. Continuance had an extra star bracelet and graciously offered to give it to me. I was going to use it, remove it and pass it amongst the other member of Brothers. Perfect!!! We were in business. So as I walk into catering I see Nate, the guy in charge of the whole fest. He looks at me and for a second I think I'm busted. I go up to him congratulate him on putting together an awesome fest and we shoot the breeze for a minute. He asks me if I've gotten enough to eat. Here is where I flip. I'm pretty sure I've just been caught, and now he's going to boot Brothers from the fest and we'll never get booked again. I just break down and give him the truth. I say quickly -

"Well honestly, we were given orange wrist bands." I hold up my wrist and show him my star wristband. "Continuance gave me their extra one, I'm sorry, it's just I was really hungry and they offered it." Dylan and Steven from Continuance look at me with wide eyes as I had just thrown them under the proverbial bus.

"I'm sorry man, I hope this isn't a big deal." Nate looks at me... he says:
"Brother and Your Best Friend are the two Michigan bands who were supposed to get bracelets, you guys are special and didn't have to sell tickets or sign a contract. You SHOULD have star bracelets."

A bewildered look crosses my face.

Nate: "I'll go get some bracelets for you guys and drop them off at your merch table." He leaves.

Talk about dodging a bullet. Funny story and an example of how when shit gets a little dicey - just tell the truth.

I watched two songs by Misery Signals on the side of the stage. They were cool, but you know. I was bored. Great band through, really on point. I saw a few Strike Anywhere songs. Love that band, but again, I was bored. Great players though, great energy.

The one band that I watched at Bled Fest that captivated me from front to back was the mighty Trash Talk. I stood side stage during their set with Tim from Tall Ships. Talk about an experience. They were amazing and I was captivated from front to back. They were real, visceral and wild on stage. They were dangerous. I loved it. So good. I was able to go to the backstage area and talk to them after they played. They were really nice, cool dudes. Very open. I was excited. They're amazing and you should see them live if you have the chance.

I'm sure there is much that I'm forgetting. It was cool to hang with the La Dispute dudes for a while as well. It was a great day. Brothers was paid well, and did very well in merch sales. It was an astounding success. Love it. Love it.

05/28 Windsor, ON

2010-05-29T14:35:00.001-04:00

Last night we played Windsor, ON. Its always nerve wracking to cross the border. Luckily we didn't have any problems. We got sent over to imigration. We thought we were going to get searched for sure. My theory is that the dude and the chick that were supposed to tear all our stuff apart were to interested in sleeping with each other. Their body language said that. His cool demeanor in front of a bunch of tattooed rocker dudes. Whatev. We totally got a get out of jail free card. We had all our equipment available and we look like a band, so he just waved us though. We didn't even get out of the car. It's always such a demaning process crossing the border. You are made to feel like a criminal even if your record is spotless. They just intimidate and hound you and make you nervous. The worst part is that YOU GET SHAKEN EVERY TIME!!! No matter how many times you cross it never changes.

We played at the Coach & Horses. We've played there before. It's pretty wild. Canada loves Brothers. There weren't as many people as last time, but I couldn't care less. If I play for 10 or 1000 people, I'm stoked to play. Rob of Seven Out (seven uuuuuut) booked the show. Seven Out rules and they really help us out (uuuuut). The show was fun. Pretty basic show. Nothing really of note. Perhaps the only thing is that the show started at 10:30 or something rediculous like that. We headlined an went on at 1:30am. Ugh. Too late. We rocked 'em though and brought the energy. We usually stay with Chris of Seven Out when we go to Windsor. We decided to cross over that night and stay with ou buddy Wes in Howell, the location of our next gig, BLED FEST. The drive wasn't bad. Gas station dinner. Turkey sandwich, Hot Fries, a granola bar and some Tea. Where was Taco Be when we needed it?

We rolled into Wes' house at 4:00am. Late night. We snuck into the basement and goofed around for a while before passing out.

I should also mention that our buddy Austin of Mind Over Matter records, who put out our new EP is tagging along this weekend. Love that dude. His label is great and all his shit is done by hand. Elaborate packaging. All by hand. Really. Get it. It rules.

Please forgive this first post. I'm still feeling out how I want to do this. Forgive any typos that are outrageous. This was done on an iPhone. AutoCorrect gets wonky. I don't feel like editing this now. Maybe later. Ok kids. Be safe.

Weekend Kickoff

2010-05-28T02:49:00.001-04:00

To kickoff a weekend of hopefully great shows, BROTHERS played the DAAC tonight. Aside from some drunk asshole acting like he owned the pit (moshing is dumb, btw. Thx, but buy a CD an shirt, rather than moshing hard) it was a great night. Lots of cool bands.

I sold my backup guitar on a whim to one of the members of Girlfight, a band from Pennslyvania. He was way more stoked on owning it than I was. I was glad to let it go to someone who would appreciate it for the rad machine that it is.

Now I need to buy a guitar body to fit to a neck I have to have another backup guitar. Oh well. If this is a kind of problem I face in my life, I am truly blessed.

Tall Ships ruled tonight. Their song "The Sign of the Times" absolutely kills me. Sooooo good. It's a pleasure to see Tim Lenger play bass.

After the show Joel Otte, Zach Leipham and myself joined Tall Ships for a slice of pizza. I can't remember the name of the joint, but I remember it was a great slice. After that we went to Stella's. A new "Punk Rock" bar in town. It was cool. My buddy Jeremy tends bar there. We had a lot of fun (Joel, Zach, Tim. Myself) and Joel and I got a little tanked. Oh well. It happens. Rock and Roll man. Rock and Roll.

Joel and I on a street corner at 2:00 in the morning:

Pulled from Alex Skolnick's Blog: Flexitarianism in life.

2010-05-27T12:07:00.000-04:00

Skolnick, in an entry about "flexitarianism" takes the dietary concept and applies it to other areas in his life. Really great stuff. Here is a great excerpt:

"And the more I think about it, the more I realize that "flexitarianism" describes how I feel about a lot of movements, musical, religious,philosophical as well as dietary. It represents getting what you can out of a practice without being controlled by its limitations and unrealistic expectations.

For example, I'm a metal guitarist who is seriously into jazz but can't stand the stubbornness and prejudices that exist among certain fans of both genres. If I play metal, does that mean I should cover myself in tattoos, be culturally illiterate, drink beer all day and date strippers? If I play jazz, does that mean I have to avoid all other genres of music and say 'dig' every other word?

Similarly, I like to take a yoga class now and then. But I don't want to practice it every day, wear yoga-like clothes and hang out with yoga disciples who live in communes and ashrams.

When it comes to faith, I feel there is much to be learned from the old fables of
Judaism, the Christian principles of forgiveness and love, the honor emphasized by Catholicism and the wisdom of Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam and other Eastern religions.

But why does it all have to be so exclusive? Why should one religion forbid me from checking out the teachings of another? Don't tell me I'm going to hell just because I don't follow your specific beliefs to a 'T.'

Group based movements of all types try to enforce labels on people, place psychological pressure and incorporate decisions that should be up to the individual. It is the strict rules, restrictions and disqualifications that put me off from these movements, as well as those who follow the rules like blind sheep."

Dude rules.

Read the whole thing here.

Test

2010-05-27T11:23:00.001-04:00

Blogging from the 'ol iPhone.

This might be cool.

Location:Fulton St E,Grand Rapids,United States

Remember

2010-05-27T11:08:00.000-04:00

how I said I would update this thing more frequently...

It is not happening. I wrote a big, long blog entry and then pulled the plug at the last minute. I thought it might create too much controversy. (Not that anyone reads this)

I think I might do a "tour diary." "Get In The Van" style. Only less... I don't know. Rollins-y. I love that dude, but oh, mama - was he young when he wrote that. I'm sure he's glad he has it as a document, but when I see him now and look back then, he's got to feel like a punk.

My favorite quote of the week:

"If you call me a motherfucker I'll never play a song for you." If you know who said that, you're cool.

Another Semester Behind Me:

2010-05-06T08:50:00.001-04:00

Another two semesters to go.

The task does not seem as daunting as it did a year ago. This past school year has gone by extremely fast. I hope the next will be even faster.

I promise to update this thing more often. If not for you, (who are you?) but for me. It's good to have some sort of record of what is going on in. I'd love to convert this to a "dot com" or similar.

Until then - the best way to keep up with my nonsense is following me on Twitter.

www.twitter.com/DAMIANMASTER

No Facebook. Ever.

Thoughts on "Free" Music:

2009-09-17T16:27:00.000-04:00

Now hear this -

Music is not free. That is a rubbish thesis statement, and my English professors would deny having instructed me, but there it is. This was all brought on by my reading of this article. Having been an avid music fan and procurer of records for many years this brings up an interesting point.

Being a big Smashing Pumpkins fan and highly regarding their 2000 release "Machina..." I was hip to follow their moves. (Machina should be checked out again. It was given poor reviews, but I love it. It looks like Sgt. Pepper next to "Zeitgeist") SP had released a second, companion record to Machine called, appropriately, Machina II. They distributed the record for free via their website and message boards. Great, that's just a wonderful bone to throw a hungry fan. For me, I yearned for a hard copy to occupy a place on my shelf, but I was happy with just the music.

This was in the year 2000 mind you. Long before Radiohead or NIN or countless others started schlocking their jams on the internet free of charge. Brilliant. Cool. This piece is not to suck off Billy Corgan, no. Far from it. It is to use his model as a platform for "free" music and my thoughts thereof.

Free music sucks. It's like a little kid who means well and tries to mow the lawn but accidentally mows over their mother's flowerbed. Free music doesn't even work in theory! Explanation:

First of all, Billy Corgan, Trent Reznor, Radiohead personnel, etc. are wealthy. I am not. Part of the reason I'm not a little richer is because I've directly contributed to the wealth of aforementioned musicians. I've even seen two of the three above in a live setting. (Cash grab!) More on that later. You can't give your music away. Not to this generation. We live in a time and generation where MP3s are viewed as non-matter, which they are. It's as if you can't get in trouble for downloading an MP3 because it isn't visible unless rendered on a screen from somewhere deep in your hard drive. Free music is viewed as a God-given right, not unlike air, water, and shelter. People download music without consequence again and again and now view buying a CD/LP/MP3 as foolish. This simply is not the case.

I argue now as to why the aforementioned artists should not give away free music: Yes, I know they don't need your money. It's a bit pithy just having that shoved in our faces. Secondly, (more soundly) It makes others look bad. If you can download a Radiohead record for free or whatever you want to pay, it makes other artists look bad for charging for their music. Whether that amount be $5.00, $15.00, etc, the ability to ascribe your own price to a piece of music will now doubt ring in your mind as you shell out $13 for a CD you know damn well you'll only enjoy a few tracks of. Perhaps that's where the seed of downloading is planted?

As a semi-musician I know the time, patience, energy, and money that go into producing a piece of music. I'm not just talking about the recording and pressing here. The time and money spent on equipment, rehearsals, driving to practice, shows, time spent at home writing music, is all at a certain cost. Musicians like the ones above have come to realize that it's not record sales, but live music that will play their bills. If you shell out $80 on Nine Inch Nails tickets you will no doubt receive a great show. Multiply that by however many people are in attendance and how many dates are on the tour, in addition to the guarantee the band receives before they even hit the stage and you are looking at a lot of money. Even after paying drivers, riggers, techs, the guy that runs to Wal-Mart to get Trent a pack of white tube socks, that's still a lot of money. If it wasn't, no one would tour. Touring is rough, hard, lonesome, grinding, and quite frankly, depressing. Consult Henry Rollins' "Get In The Van" for further details. Live music exists to pay said artist's bills, not record sales. Don't act as if you are bestowing a benevolent gift from on high of your genius music. Keep it to yourself. A true fan would not bat an eye at shelling out a few bucks for a new release of a band he enjoys? Why shoot yourself in the foot? Is it to release then a super limited (ha!) nicely packaged fan version of a record available exclusively on your website an an exorbitant price to suck money further from your truest of fans? Porcupine Tree, Radiohead, NIN, I'm looking at you. There are also many others.

The recorded music is now acting like a flier. A thing you use to get people to come to your show, buy overpriced merch. To drink until you can't remember the show, (most bands get a cut of bar sales) wake up hung over from your one night in paradise away from the real world with your favorite band. I'm calling bullshit. I will not look bad for wanting $5.00 for my band's CD just because some dud with zero overhead and a massive fan base wants to seem hip. I will of course remind you that regardless of their current states the above artists were all part of major labels with massive marketing and promotion teams that catapulted them to success. It was standing on the shoulders of giants that allowed for them to tour the world on great packages, get their songs on the radio and earn millions of fans and millions of dollars. Now, hopping off the shoulders of the collapsing music industry, we have these dinosaur bands crying "Freedom for music, enjoy everyone!" whilst snookering you into viewing them in a crap setting with a bunch of other drunken idiots and buying a $75 Radiohead hoodie for your girlfriend. (Sorry, that just happened to me.)

There are even mid level bands who do this. Bands who are not famous, but desire to be. I remember seeing a band and them telling the crowd to go and "check out our merch, buy a shirt, a CD or whatever. Download our album share it with your friends tell them to come to a show!" What? Seriously? You think that cheapening yourself using your music as an "audio flyer" will get you anywhere? No. It won't. Sorry. These mid level bands think the the more their music gets out there via downloading the more someone will come to a show and buy a shirt. A fucking T-Shirt. That's how bands make money. Seriously? My own band outsells T-Shirts to CDs and Records by a vast number every show. I fear for the day a T-Shirt can be downloaded. Bands will never leave the basement. Look into Raymond Kurzweil's "Singularity" theory. Downloading a T-Shirt and other things we viewed as non-information systems are going to be possible before we know it. Ten years ago if you wanted to see a movie, I'd have to mail it to you, now I can just e-mail you a file. Think about it. If I told you ten years ago I could send you a movie in an e-mail attachment you'd have me committed.

Back to music - these bands that make a "living" from town to town selling T-Shirts are totally screwing themselves. Why in the world would you make music if the only way you could sustain yourself was on the marketability or cleverness of your t-shirts? Yet, this is the case with most bands today.

Downloading music (the peer to peer downloading, not iTunes, etc. Though iTunes is stupid too) is wrong, period. It requires nothing. You are slapping the artist in the face. You are cheapening the experience. The tangible hard copies of records are fantastic. You own it. It's not a file on your computer you are licensing from Apple to use. (Read the iTunes agreement folks!) I'm not a wealthy person. Though I make slightly more now, in my adolescence where I bought music like there was no tomorrow, I made about $6.00, after taxes. On average it takes me two hours of work, post-taxes to pay for a $13 CD. That's two hours of mindless drone work to just throw it into a little piece of plastic and paper. But dammit, it's mine. I own it. I own the images, I own the music. It's mine. I sucked up to a boss, took shit from a customer, cleaned a filthy bathroom someone not me messed up for a total of two hours to get a CD in my hands. I love it. I wouldn't have it any other way. Don't you dare look me in the eye and tell me you like a band or a song if you downloaded it. I have racks of records, over 2,500 in fact that I purchased with money. No downloads, no burned CDs. It's all legit. Don't cheapen my collection with your download. I won't stand for it.

I love burning mix CDs for friends as a means for them to encounter new music. I provide a single song (NOT A WHOLE RECORD!!!!) for consumption and encourage them to purchase. I do this to try and stimulate music sales. It's like throwing a penny into the ocean, but I love music. I love it so much. I want people to use their brains, stop downloading music. Illegally downloading music is dishonest, vile and contemptuous.

I understand that certain artists can strike a balance, I think Billy Corgan has done that. It's fantastic to give out a freebie to your fans every once-in-a-while. There are lots of artists who will post live tracks, or demos for free download to fans as a special treat. I love that. I also go out of my way to purchase hard copies for posterity should they ever be available. (Hence my owning of the NIN's "The Slip") A hard copy few people have laid eyes upon. The next time you're downloading something- illegally or even a legit download, I encourage you to think about what you're doing.

As always, you don't need a Blogger account to comment. You just click the comments box and comment away. Tell me who you are or don't. I'd enjoy your feedback.

DAMIANMASTER
Fall 2009

Jammyland, etc:

2009-07-10T10:51:00.002-04:00

Things I've dismissed (wrongly) in the past and now furiously enjoy:

Son Volt
Paint It Black
Metallica's "Load" & "Re-Load"
Absu
Choking Victim
Slough Feg (Aug. 8 - Mac's Bar. FIGHT ME 8/8!!!!)
Chunky Salsa (not a the band, the food. Chunky Salsa would be a great band name.)
Mini-Golf a.k.a. Putt-Putt Golf

Also - BROTHERS is rotating between TL & ZL on the electric bass guitar. I'm as happy as a lark.

Additionally - my favorite video of the moment I affectionately call "Brock go Bonk!" ouch...

Apologies -

2009-04-12T21:08:00.000-04:00

Sorry. Very sorry. Looking at my last posts I've come to realize that people who stumble upon this must think I'm completely off the reservation. Broken arrow. Wacky, gone, cookey.

I just get so pissed off sometimes. I feel so many emotions and they come faster than I can type. I think... I think.... I'll just post this Tom G. Warrior interview.

Interviewer: "What have you gotten out of the music industry?
TGW: "The music industry... what?.... nothing.... they're motherfuckers."

This is an interview I love because he's so pissed off. He will admit that we need the industry but it's totally messed up. For the record: I stand against his stance on downloading. Any person close to me knows that I believe ALL downloading of music (legal or illegal) to be a total fraud.

More on this later. iTunes has killed the industry more than illegal downloads: Truth.

To the death: Rock and Roll, etc.

2009-03-01T22:05:00.000-05:00

In times like these, the banality of "heavy" or alternative music and the utterly poseur "hip" bands dripping out of New York like spit from a passed out junkie's mouth - I find that truth in music is found in unlikely places.

Like thieves the people we used to walk past, picked our pockets. They took what was ours, placed it on their head and are making a dollar. If they're not making a dollar, they're making a ruckus. You don't need to trust me. You need to look in a music magazine. Look at your local rock venue. Tell me what you see. Is it revolution? Or is it prostitution? Ron Asheton is dead, but joke of all jokes, naugahyde skinned Iggy still lives for a one more spill across the barrier into your face. I hope he knocks you into next week you sissy fuck.

How depressed am I to look to a fucking dinosaur like Iggy Pop for guidance? We are Americans. We are the world, I don't care what Morrissey says. We are. Why do you think he lives in Los Angeles, aside from of course he little brown cabana boy cleaning the pool and bringing him juice cocktails.

Jazz is currently under investigation by yours truly. I'm on a mission. I'm not talking Miles Davis, be-bop swinging cool cat jazz club baby baby jazz. I'm also not talking the free jazz assholes currently talking universities accross the nation out of grant money as we speak. "They really speak with their insturment" Give me a break, cheese. Hailing the true musics of non rock: NOW! Let us bury noise with more noise. Let us walk away onto stages and take the blue hairs to their grave.

COME TRANCE-LIKE CHANT MUSIC!!! COME SLOW, COME VIOLENT.

what fresh hell is this?

RESPECTS: Dead Astronauts

2009-02-20T17:17:00.000-05:00

First in the series of people/places/things I respect, called "RESPECTS:_______."

The men and women, mostly Russians and N. Americans who died in the almighty quest to conquer that which is immediately beyond our narrow scope - Space.

For today's RESPECTS: Dead Astronauts, I give you the list...

* Michael James Adams
* Michael Phillip Anderson
* Charles Bassett
* Valentin Bondarenko
* David McDowell Brown
* Roger B. Chaffee
* Space Shuttle Challenger disaster
* Kalpana Chawla
* Laurel Clark
* Theodore Freeman
* Yuri Gagarin
* Gordo (space monkey)
* Gus Grissom
* Richard Douglas Husband
* Gregory Jarvis
* Vladimir Mikhaylovich Komarov
* Laika
* Robert Henry Lawrence, Jr.
* Christa McAuliffe
* William Cameron McCool
* Ronald McNair
* Ellison Onizuka
* Viktor Patsayev
* Ilan Ramon
* Judith Resnik
* Dick Scobee
* Elliot See
* Michael J. Smith
* Vladislav Volkov
* Edward Higgins White
* Clifton Williams
______________________PHOTOGRAPHICEVIDENCE________________________

I can breathe.

2008-12-21T23:14:00.000-05:00

For a great many reasons, I can breathe.

The first and most obvious of which is that I am alive. That may seem of little or trite significance, but to me, this is a big deal. It's a good time to be alive in my life. Lots of good things going on, wouldn't want to miss 'em, you know?

I got married. If that's not cool enough, it's to an amazing woman who works hard and loves and takes care of me. We have an amazing, beautiful home. Seriously. You have no idea. I guess you'll just have to come over for a party some time...

I spent the last year of my life on the verge of a cliff. I knew one day, I'd jump off, but only when the time was right. I knew that when the time was right I could take a running jump and glide effortlessly for what seems like forever. I wasn't the most patient, but I waited. Now in mid-glide I can look around me and feel just how high high I am above the world. For the first time since my rebellious yet hopeful years of 16-19 of age to I feel like nothing can hold me back.

It feels good. Everywhere I turn, I see a familiar, friendly face. If I don't see a friendly face, I make a friend. Maybe a time will come when my comfort level isn't where it is now. I'll remember the hope within, the promise of a better tomorrow. The promise of regeneration. The fetus of a new day kicking.

I like that.

I like you.

eh, I love you. Be well.

Listen to the japanese band "envy." Oh, my. The best. Simply the best. They have been for years, but I'm enjoying a resurgence in this band's prevalence in my life!

Now Playing: envy - "Compiled Fragments, 1997-2003

A stupid, angry reflection. Still honest -

2008-11-04T07:13:00.000-05:00

----------------- Bulletin Message -----------------
From: DAMIAN
Date: Oct 29, 2008 7:20 AM

Yeah - Atmosphere last night, my 7th and last time.

It wasn't the band. They were amazing.

They've passed into a category populated with fucking moron assholes.

It's not their fault. I'm happy for them. But fuck everyone at that show. I'm going to buy their records, buy the shirt from 5th Element (Slug's shop in Mlps, look it up fool.) but I'm not going to associate with people so oblivious.

Jeremy K. and I saw Atmosphere Nov. 1, 2003. A day that really changed my life. I still remember the date and JK has the ticket. I'm going to hold that over the head of every girlfriend-ass-grabbing-beer-swilling-fucking liar who shaved their heads and said they were always punk, you know.

I hate when people portray themselves as something they're not. I can spot that shit a mile away. It's a gift.

ATMOSPHERE LIVE: 10.01.03-10.28.08 (((R.I.P)))

"They'll take stuff from you" - Paul Mooney

I'd hate me...

2008-09-29T08:00:00.000-04:00

This post isn't what you think it is. It's a reality check. More for me, than you. It's there to keep me in line every time I get frustrated or upset.

As I sit in my room, I'm amazed. I try to remove myself from the equation. If I walked into my room, and I wasn't me, what would I think? Surrounded wall to wall with records. Thousands of them. This guy's obviously a music fan. They span a lot of genres. Looks like some basics, but lots of cool left field stuff. Not the kind of music section that was purchased from Best Buy. DVDs. Hundreds, good stuff too. Lots of "film" even. Not just "movies," Stuff you buy because it looks good on your shelf and you end up letting friends borrow it more than you watch it. Hey, it's essential viewing. Musical instruments. Guitars, some effect pedals, cool ones too. No cheap guitars or rubbish pedals, the good stuff. Obviously a musician, at least an amateur one. He probably enjoys playing music. There is a Mac with a nice MIDI controller hooked up sitting on the bed. More music production gear.

This guy must be pretty cool, or at least surrounds himself with cool stuff.

(((BACK TO ME)))

I'm back. What a life I lead. I have all the stuff I'd ever want right in front of me. I have a great job, a good girlfriend who supports all my endeavors. We're getting married, and she's already got a really nice house. She works a great job, and we won't be stressed for money like a lot of young married couples. I have a band I enjoy and people seem to like us.

I live a cartoon life. I live a life with no worries. Everything has been provided for me, and with a smile on their face, they told me they loved me. Wow.

Why is it that sometimes we get down or pissed off about stupid stuff? I know I'm not the only one of my friends in this position. This is how we are. Grown men, 2008, in America, living like boys. Boys with bank accounts.
Life is good. Nothing is bad. Nothing that can't be fixed over a good night's sleep. Enjoy this time. You and I are blessed far beyond what we deserve.

MUSIC:

Saul Williams - The Inevitable Rise and Fall of Niggy Tardust

Fall approaches:

2008-09-20T21:46:00.001-04:00

Yes. It's here.

The heat of summer is slowly dying. The mornings are cooler. The air, softer. The dark at night, coming earlier.

FALL IS ALMOST HERE.

scoreboard.

As you may or may not know (or care...) I collect records. I have an extensive collection well into the three thousands. This may seem like a ton, but it's really not. All my records were either purchased by me or given to me. None of my music was downloaded in any way. (There are exceptions such as the Atmosphere record "Strictly Leakage" which was an internet only release made available FREE via the official band site.) No music was downloaded via iTunes or other MP3 brokers, be it by legal or illegal means. Hard copies are kept for reference purposes. Nine Inch Nail's last record "The Slip" - made available FREE via their website (and still is!) was recently released in a hard format, this was purchased by me.

Point being, if I can buy it... I do. I love the hard copies. The artwork, the feel, the smell, the way a record is. I scoff at you who say "My computer crashed and I lost all my music!" What fools. Whatever music exists on my computer is a digital copy of what is sitting on a shelf in my room.

I could go on a big long rant, and perhaps another time I will. (The value of Music, etc) POINT BEING: I have a lot of records.

I listen to music seasonally. The seasons bring about different activities and moods for me. Certain times call for certain tunes. As the seasons change, I spend one night (Tonight is this night for me) sorting through my records. Filing away all the Summer choices, getting into the Fall choices.

Fall is the shortest of all my Musical Seasons. It often starts late and ends up with Winter's big ol' Santa Claus ass poking his way into it a bit early. Fall is awesome. Very good stuff. Some Noise, Doom, Drone, Abrasive Rock, some intelligent Hip Hop (dumb nigga hip hop gets a lot of summer plays), Ambient, Extreme Electronic. Not a lot of Rock music. No punk, hardcore, metal, metalcore, sludge, pop, jazz, etc. Sludge (Neurosis, Melvins, etc has been known to slide in occasionally.)

So, Fall is officially here in my record collection. My favorite! Buckle in: It's going to be a fun ride!

Now Playing:
MUSIC:

Khanate - "Things Viral"

VIDEO:

LICHENS - Live performance

I don't know why, but all of the sudden - I feel better than you...

2008-09-17T00:06:00.000-04:00

So I got a Mac, and an iPod touch. It feels pretty cool to be part of the cool kids club now.

Yes, this is a post for the sake of a post. Just to use my new computer.

It's shiny and white.

(((more real content to come later)))

... and the horse you rode in on.

2008-09-02T19:43:00.000-04:00

Car rap:

Disclaimer - this has nothing to do with gasoline prices. I actually changed my spending habits and accounted for the change in price, so It's not a big deal to me. You see, I'm what's called an adult. That means, when something that is a necessity goes up in price, I realize that I need it, can't change it's price and adjust my spending habits and am just fine. In short. If you need gas. You will pay for it. Don't bitch. Spend less money on clothes you don't need, less on alcohol, less on CDs (nevermind, people don't buy CDs anymore), whatever it is you spend your money on. Adjust. It's called being practical try it out sometime. You have a lot less stress. Gas prices, so the fuck what?

*and now back to today's regularly scheduled programming*

Car rap: Cars. Say what you want. Take the bus. Ride a bike. Walk. Skip. Jump-rope. Moon-walk. Hoverboard. Teleport. Do what you need to do. Personally I'm not one of those people who thinks that in this society, built on the idea of personal freedom and mobility that I can get away with not having a car. I have a job that requires me to attend M-F, 8-5. Gotta get there. Car. I have friends that don't live next door. Car. I like to frequent stores that are not within walking distance. Car. Shut the fuck up people. It's very in vogue right now to hate on cars. Shut up asshole. Yes, they're bad for the environment. Yes, gas is pricey. Yes they take up space and contribute to urban sprawl. But you know what? The people who are making the laws and those before them didn't care. They still don't care. They won't care because they don't need a car. They have jets that the government pays for them to use. And believe you me- Jet Fuel is expennnnnnnnnsive, boy.

This is not a political blog. I'm a political Agnostic. I don't believe that it matters. This is about status. This is about symbolism, this is about my hoopty. My car: 2001 Kia Sephia. When I received it brand new on my 16th birthday it was awesome. Since then the Kia name lost a little cred. The car isn't actually that great in some senses, in some senses though - it deserves a gold medal. My car is beat up. Its dented, scratched, the spoiler is half ripped off, the brakes work most of the time (that's fun!) the driver seat is propped up with a milk crate, the key broke off in the passenger side door, the locks freeze EVERY DAY in the winter, there are damage marks in on the driver seat from years of taking brutal farts from my ass, and for some reason - no matter how much I Febreeze the upholstery, shampoo and vacuum the carpets, use air fresheners and roll down the windows... my car always smells like Barbeque sauce.

Truth.

I'm sure I could have taken a little better care of it. I could have babied it and loved on it like a pet, but I didn't. Why? I'll tell you readers: Because a car is something of utility. A car is a transportation unit. It gets you from point A to point B. Granted, I do use things of luxury like my CD player and Air Conditioning, but I suppose I could do without. A car is Spartan. A car is practical. A car is safe and reliable. That is what a car is - to me. To most of the rest of the world, it's something totally different.

Cars are needed. The ways our cities are set up, the way our country is, we just need 'em. We like them. They're fun. We feel free. Auto makers realized pretty quickly that if somebody needs something, and I mean really needs something - they're going to buy it. The trick is tacking a bunch of crap on the exterior and interior that's not needed, to the shell of something that is needed.

Cars are totally out of control. They're status symbols, they signify you're position in life. I won't get into a commentary on the state of debt that a lot of Americans are in, but I will say I find it to be funny that people who make forty thousand dollars a year drive around in cars that cost forty-five thousand. The idea of buying something that above your limit and making payments is one of the dumbest fucking things I can think of. Congratulations. You bought into a false ideal. You are in debt. You shall now pay far out the ass for the rest of your life. Not me.

I don't care. I don't care if my car is old, beat, un-hip or unimpressive. I don't care. My car gets me around. I have money in my pocket. So many people feel the need to buy these nice cars they can't afford that are built like urban assault vehicles. They drive them like they ARE urban assault vehicles. They pay loads in insurance, tons in gas, and for what? To look cool? To "be someone?" I don't know.

I was filling up my gas tank last night. I wasn't concerned about money. I'm a wise spender. I don't make very much money at my job, but I budget and enjoy my life. I live within my means and I'm happy. I don't worry about gas prices. I know I'll be fine because I choose to live within my means.

I'm casually standing there, not paying attention when some big SUV pulls up to the pump next to mine. A guy and two girls. They're wearing what looks to be like expensive clothes. They're all done up too, like they're going somewhere. They all get out to have a smoke. The guy reaches into his pocket and pulls out a ten. The girls reach in a pull out a couple of fives and singles from their purses. They bitch about how expensive it is. They talk about how they need cash to get into the club they're going to. How they need money for drinks. One of them bitches that the less than twenty bucks they've accumulated won't get them very far. They bitch about all this outside their shiny, fancy, new SUV. Big shiny rims. Ugh. I follow the guy in. He plops his money and change on the counter pitifully, I know he's embarrassed he can't fill up the tank. I grab a coke and a pack of breath mints and pay for mine. I feel good that I'm not in their shoes.

I wonder if they were in a 2001 banged up Kia Sephia if they would have these problems. I know damn well that the amount of money they put in their tank would get me pretty far in mine. Probably much further than theirs. Providing the club was in the continental United States. I'd have plenty of money to get into the club, plenty for drinks, and even for a late night stop at Taco Bell on the way home. I wonder if they'd even show up to the club in a ratty car like mine. Eh. Either way - I probably wouldn't go to their Chatchie club anyway. Hipster scum.

I'm fine with my car. In fact, I'm going the opposite way now. From now on, I'm only buying uncool cars. Real stinkers. Sedans and hatchbacks and small trucks. I'm a cool guy. Lots of people like me. None of them read this blog, but that's because I'm ahead of the curve. I'm downright awesome. Most of the stuff I do is stuff dull, boring people dream of. I do it in my crappy car with a few bucks in my pocket. I'm happy. I'm cool. I'm not buying into it. I'm keeping my crappy car. It's cool with me. Don't hate. Get a crappy car yourself and go out and spend all the money you saved on other cool stuff. Who cares how you got to the club, a Kia rides down the same road as an Escalade. Sure, it might be a bit bumpier. But I get there the same time as you.

Now Playing:

MUSIC:

The Austerity Program - "Black Madonna"

VIDEO:

Aphex Twin - "Windowlicker (Uncensored Version)"

A city, dying -

2008-08-25T20:57:00.000-04:00

This weekend revealed a great horror to me. One that I knew was coming, but now that it's upon me (read: us) it's still unimaginably sad.

Things work in cycles. Take for example our little scene. The "Skelletones" punk/indie/hardcore/metal scene. I remember when scene was such a bad word, now I wish we had one! I think it operates in two and-a-half year cycles. Let's call it started around 2001. There was certainly activity before that, but thats when Skelletones opened. In the first two and a half years, it thrived. It was so great. I was a spectator. I witnessed the bands that went on to do great things, and bands that burnt out before they could be fully appreciated. I saw it all. Late 2002, I became an active member. No longer going to shows, now playing them within the scene. Getting a name, CBH in metal, and The Family Line in punk. The original crop had a bit of a diaspora. Some moved away, some became disinterested, most turned 21 and discovered drinking.

Now I'm riding the second wave. It's good. Things are well and fine. Lots of bands, creativity and opportunity. Somehow, the second wave crashes. I don't know how. People grew up to fast. It lasted two and a half years, we were kings. We meant something to someone. I couldn't go to Taco Bell with my Dad without being recognized as "that guy from that crazy band." But the floor dropped out. People became self important. We turned 21, we got jobs, married, the same thing that caused the first generation to disappear.

We were the ones who dropped the ball. We watched it hit the floor and did nothing.

We felt so invincible. We were so wrong. We had the best of both worlds, we were there in the beginning, now we're driving the car but we don't know what to do. Some of us tried, but a scene is people united. Not a people distracted, and growing distant.

Third wave. Late 2006/early 2007. Newer younger versions of ourselves are coming up. Having always had a safe all ages venue to play with a clean stage and an honest man behind the sound board. Never did they know a time were anything else existed. They took it all for granted. They were young and careless. They were like Sid Vicious, but without the charm. They were parasites. They were never shown the right way. It was all of our fault. It began to crumble. I remember getting a shitty look from some skinny legged teen behind the counter at the Euclid. I think he was wearing a shirt from some band on Victory Records. I remember him looking at me like I wandered in off of the street. I paid for my coffee, looked around at the strangers, where had everyone gone? Who are all these kids? Why are they all smoking? Why are they so desperate? Why are they acting like total idiots? I walked out. I threw my drink in the trash. Even the coffee tasted bad now. It was lukewarm and watery.

Like a boulder rolling down a hill, it couldn't be stopped. I remember having great conversations with Mirf-Man, post show over dinner and a good beer. I knew he didn't want to do this forever. I knew the end was near summer 2007. I still ignored it.

One of my bands CBH, played the infamous show in which the floor fell out from under the DAAC as well. We were pretty notorious on that strip of Division ave. One of the few bands that could fly from Skells to the DAAC with no problems. The DAAC's luck ran out. Gone were the days of it's punk-rock venue status. Fire codes, and building codes and neon exits signs needed to be installed. The lack of that stuff was the charm. Jeff VandenBerg, a man I highly respect, told me face to face - this was it. That night, he locked up and began washing his hands of the DAAC.

I don't blame Mirf or Jeff, that's crazy. Venues come and go, owners/operators come and go. I chucked the best years of my life down that block on S Division. And when I got up to dust myself off, I was surrounded by strangers with Hot Topic wardrobes and spiky bracelets. Mohawked teenagers trying to capture the spirit of '77. Kids in straight billed hats and baggy shorts, looking like rappers but sounding like a fourth rate Earth Crisis.

So in late August 2008, the end is closer than further. I wonder where I'll bump into the people I go down there to bump into?

I park my car in the parking lot behind the building where I've parked it for years. I get out and make the walk around to the top of the block. The bums are gone. Weird. Then again, you never see a herd of cattle in the desert. It becomes clear. I turn the corner and see nothing. No people. No kids, (hate them, though I may) no bums, no people, no fun. It's cold outside. I walk past the Euclid. I know it's closed but I still look inside. I tug on the door hoping it will open so I can walk through it once more. I see my band's sticker on the counter. I see the chair I loved to sit in. I wonder what will become of the space? The counters will be destroyed, the walls painted over, the furniture donated or something - I wonder of there is a way to squeeze memories out of the walls, like a sponge. So much happened inside those walls. That's when I see a couple of familiar faces. They're not all gone. They're now bitching to me about the Euclid being closed. It's just two of them. Refusing to change, still loitering outside, still being pompous assholes. I know their names, they know mine- we chat, I move on. I see my friend Jay, he informs me of about 20 paying people in Skelletones to see two national acts. Bummer.

Vertigo Music is the same, but its not. It's less full. Less loitering creeps doing their best "High Fidelity" impression. I'm greeted like an old friend. I am an old friend I guess. We talk. I browse, pick out a few things, pay and leave. Nobody harassing me for change, no clusters of goth kids to break through, no guys in Napalm Death t-shirts who ask me when my band is playing next. Just empty sidewalk. It looks like a warzone. Cracks in the concrete seem more evident, buildings are empty, but you can tell something fun used to be there. I get in my car and drive home.

I stop to pump some gas and get a Coke, I end up sitting in a vacant parking lot softly crying to myself. It's all gone away. I wish there was something I could have done. The present slid into the past when I wasn't looking. "Now" became "then" and the future is hard to discern.

I think of the parable of the good Samaritan. Our scene is laying face down, robbed of it's possessions, beaten until unrecognizable and disregarded, left to die alone. I hope we can find a good Samaritan to save us. I wish it could be me. I don't know how. I wish I had a vision, or help. I feel like a child standing in front of a moving tank.

Our city is dying. Sure the buildings will be there, new restaurants and shops will open, but it's not the same. It's not the brick that is the city. It's the people.

Where have all the people gone?

Now Playing:

MUSIC

AVA INFERI - "The Silhouette"

VIDEO:

BIT SHIFTER performing "Reformat the Planet" live:

Still better than MySpce, but no one reads it...

2008-08-21T01:46:00.000-04:00

It's 1:49 in the morning. I have to be up in 4 hours. I'm doing laundry and effing about on the internet.

So much to think about. I'm getting married in a few months. It's pretty scary. But not in a frightening way, more in a rollercoaster type way - you're scared, but you know it's going to be fun and you'll be OK in the end, it's just a little wacky at first.
wedding day will be like. I doubt I'll be checked in at all. It's just very surreal. It's great though, and I wouldn't change a thing.

Now Playing: CEREMONY - "STILL, NOTHING MOVES YOU"

Also - please enjoy this clip from the BBC series "The Mighty Boosh." I haven't laughed this hard in years. Warning: British Humour.

FUTHERMORE:

2007-10-04T14:09:00.000-04:00

I hereby devote this Blog to by my main blog. Soon to be folded into a bigger project.

I'm speaking into space right now.

It won't always be this way.

Now Playing: Chevelle - Point #1

Intar-Webbs, Intar-Webbs

2007-09-27T13:56:00.000-04:00

I can't let go of Xanga.

I need to delete MySpace.

I rather like Virb actually.

I like Blogger the most. None of my friends check it out though. It's kind of like talking to a brick wall. But I suppose someone out there reads it. Or maybe not. Either way. It doesn't matter. I wish I had a format or agenda for this thing. Forthcoming: A format or agenda.

I'm writing a book. I'm really stoked about that. I'm the first person I know to write a book. Kallman wrote a book with his dad. But I'm flying solo. I remember reading some figure that something like 10,000 books are published every day. I figure I should try for at least one of those slots. I like writing (regardless of how this Blog reads) very much. It's something I do and enjoy. And unlike Music, or school/job, it doesn't cost me a cent. And the positive is, I could possibly make money doing it. If I could publish this thing, maybe I could quit my job, finish school, buy a VHT Deliverance, who knows?

Now Playing: The Stooges - Fun House

Weddings...

2007-08-11T23:48:00.000-04:00

So my friend Brett is getting married tomorrow. This is a good thing. For me.

I know, I'll explain. I'm "in" the wedding. That means I stand off to the side while Brett gets married. "In" the wedding they call this. I know it's just a gesture of friendship, and I love Brett to death, I'm happy to do it. But people make too big a fuss over it. I mean, I'm just standing there. I don't deserve to be treated any special way.

While this isn't the first wedding I've stood in, this is a fun one. Lots of people I don't know, that are all my age. It gives me a cool chance to hang out and interact. I don't really like bars, or nightclubs, but this small rehearsal dinner thing is where I flourish. Small groups. That is where I'm golden. After the quick run through of the ceremony the "wedding party" skips over to Brett's house which is done up really nicely in the backyard, tents, nice tables, chairs, root beer keg, etc. Good stuff. I love this. I could do this every day. Weddings are eternally fun and cool. I fear dreadfully the post wedding results. (Not just for them. Them in fact, not so much. More, Me and certain other people I know.) I just had a really good time today and I hope the wedding goes well tomorrow.

I think it will. I just get so offended by people in large groups. It's the total herd mentality. I hate that. It's so stupid. The only thing worse than a couple of dumb, shallow people are them and all their friends drinking and dancing. I just had a good time hanging out today. I was pretty charming. I like being charming. Unfortunately, it hasn't gotten me far. But, I'm in no rush.

Every band has an off night every once in a while... right?

2007-04-11T12:30:00.000-04:00

Well well well... what do we have here. Post-show blues. We really screwed up. We bombed. I think they raised the terror alert to chartreuse, or magenta, or something. (TL)CBH bombed the DAAC so badly and in front of so many people, I got a sympathy e-mail from the Taliban this morning. Do you understand how bad it was?

I'll put it to you this way, we tore down our gear, walked it out to our cars... and didn't go back in. When a band bombs it's their fault. I can't deny that. It just wasn't our night. (At all.) But, I must say the crowd was totally not into it, which didn't really make us want to play up to par.

That being said, we had a long chat and we're redoing everything. For real. We're refocusing what we do. We've been playing the same set list for a year now, and it's getting lame. We're getting lame. It pains me to say it, but we're lame. We weren't always, and we we will rise above it. But the last few shows we've played... not so good.

It's time for a rebirth. We went through a rough patch for a while... and we seem to have come out on the other side. We're even looking at adding a member (gasp!).

After you embarrass yourself in front of peers, friends and strangers alike, you tend to reexamine things. I hope we can pull things out before people totally discount us. It's going to be hard, but we're going to have to do it.

Now Playing - Playdough "Lonely Superstar"

Psychedelic School Spring Flashback

2007-03-12T12:19:00.000-04:00

Driving to school this morning I had a freak out. This sort of warm-ish rainy weather is to blame. It was a wonderful freak out though. Getting in my car, jamming some great songs, taking in this weather. I love mornings. There is something so pure about them. They're quiet and unassuming. The day seems well because, well... nothing has had the chance to go awry. This sort of weather was very characteristic of the spring of my senior year of high school. A time that will perhaps go down as the happiest in my whole life.

It's funny how weather (Though one would think this weather would depress!) can transport you to a different mindset. A good mindset in my case, an added bonus.

Things have changed so much in three years. I still drive the same car (lame). My music of choice this morning was the Tall Ships demo. Three years ago I didn't know Brett, I knew Peter as that wiener from The Tide and Josh as the Wolverine-looking dude from my least favorite band of the all-times, Reva. And now, Tall Ships. Things just turn out strange.

J.D. was the keyboard player for my country-punk band, Pistol Pete & The Dustbowl Orchestra. Now he's off being super-successful in La Dispute as a front man. I didn't see that coming. I'm happy for him (and mildly jealous). CBH was in its infancy, I don't even think Joel was around. He was around of course, as my best friend/concert companion/Bro. Now, he's married, around a little less, but still all those things to me. I can't blame him. You've got to do what you've got to do.

I decided to give university the finger for a year, and worked full time at Guitar Center, making great friendships that continue on even though I don't work there anymore. I remember hanging out with Aaron and Butters, making metal. Now Aaron's married with two kids. In three freakin' years. Butters is off in Arizona doing Jah knows what.

I can't believe how much things change, and things don't change in such short periods of time. I'm turning twenty-one in a month. I remember turning sixteen like it was two days ago, and turning eighteen like it was yesterday. I hope the rest of my life doesn't go by this quick. I'll be seventy before I know it.

Now Playing - The Replacements "All for Nothing/Nothing for All"

2007-02-13T11:02:00.000-05:00

So, this here is my new blog. (I am slowly coming to terms with the word "blog.")

Iron Cedar is the name. I like titling things.

Feel free to leave a comment, I've enabled anonymous comments (do put your name in of course though) so you don't have to sign up for any special service like on Xanga or Mice Pace or one of the other notoriously vile web sites.

This just seems a bit more... grown up? I suppose. Hydra Head uses Blogger... they're pretty respectable. I guess I should too, right? Herd mentality man.

Now Playing: Fugazi "Repeater + 3 Songs"

I wish J.K. Romendyke would not have claimed this record to be his 'theme record.' Now I cannot listen to it without picturing him dancing wildly to "Joe #1"

2007-01-23T11:56:00.000-05:00

This is a test... Test. Test. Test.